I judge intelligence (rather unfairly) by the following criteria:
- The number of Supreme Court justices that a person can name
- The amount of time a person spends watching television
- Smoker or non-smoker
- The scope of a person’s musical interests
- A person’s overall ratio of speaking to listening
- A person’s willingness to act self-deprecating
- The total number of tabloid magazines that a person reads in a week
- A person’s acceptance of evolution as Darwin initially described
- The ratio between a person’s degree of religious belief and the number of times that he or she has actually read the Bible
- The way in which a person spends his or her time in a waiting room
- A person’s acknowledgement of human-induced global warming
- The degree to which a person finds Jon Stewart and David Sedaris funny
- A person’s ability to debate without raising his or her voice, repeating a previously-stated viewpoint or interrupting
- New York Jets fan or not
Like I said, I’m not exactly fair in my judgment.
