Determiners of intelligence

I judge intelligence (rather unfairly) by the following criteria:

• The number of Supreme Court justices that a person can name
• The amount of time a person spends watching television
• Smoker or non-smoker
• The scope of a person’s musical interests
• A person’s overall ratio of speaking to listening
• A person’s willingness to act self-deprecating
• The total number of tabloid magazines that a person reads in a week
• A person’s acceptance of evolution as Darwin initially described
• The ratio between a person’s degree of religious belief and the number of times that he or she has actually read the Bible
• The way in which a person spends his or her time in a waiting room
• A person’s acknowledgement of human-induced global warming
• The degree to which a person finds Jon Stewart and David Sedaris funny
• A person’s ability to debate without raising his or her voice, repeating a previously-stated viewpoint or interrupting
• New York Jets fan or not

Like I said, I’m not exactly fair in my judgment.