When one of my students celebrates a birthday, I give them a packet of special birthday passes that allow them special privileges.
Homework passes allow them to skip homework assignments of their choice.
“No teasing” passes forbid me from hassling them for an entire day.
“Eat all day” passes allow them to graze like sheep throughout the school day on as much food as they’d like.
“Line freedom” passes allow them to move about the school without suffering the indignities of standing in line.
There are more. Lots more. It’s a thick packet. A high-quality birthday gift.
We also enjoy an extra 15 minutes of recess.
In addition to this glorious gift, I also give students a signed photograph of me. It was an idea I had last year to annoy my students, but they immediately turned the joke around on me by embracing the photo and thanking me profusely for it.
Other students even tried to trade for the signed photos, declaring it something they have always dreamed of owning.
I was so annoyed. I had been so looking forward to the joke, but they ruined it.
Undeterred, I tried again this year.
Thirty minutes after gifting the first signed photo of the year to a student, she had altered the photo a bit, turning me into an anime girl.
Kids ruin everything.
