Interesting question posited by a friend recently:
Would you be more likely, less likely, or just as likely to marry your spouse if you met him or her for the first time today?
My friend believes that couples who were married when they were young would be less likely to marry their spouses if they met them today, because the person you are in your teens and twenties is oftentimes vastly different than who you are in your thirties and beyond.
This doesn’t mean that these people don’t still love their spouse and want to remain married. It just means that they would be slightly less likely to want to marry their spouse if they were going on their first date today because their spouse has changed so much over time.
I think she might be right.
“I thought I was marrying a reliable tax attorney who wanted three kids and a house on a quiet street. But since then, he’s learned to play the drums and discovered a passion for death metal. Thanks to his band’s rehearsals in our garage, the street isn’t quiet anymore, and we have six children because he also discovered a love for babies, too. He wanted a dozen kids, but we compromised at half that.”
You might still love the guy with all your heart, but if you met him today, you might think twice before marrying him.
It turns out that this is not an easy question to ask your spouse.
“Hey honey, if you met me for the first time today, would you be more likely, less likely, or just as likely to marry me as you were on our wedding day?”
The answer to this question could be disastrous.
Still, I asked Elysha. She gave me the best possible answer.
“I think I’d be more likely to marry you today. Though I don’t know… I really, really wanted to marry you when we got married, too. I don’t know.”
Honestly the best possible answer. The best of both worlds. Spoken without calculation or consideration. Straight from the heart.
My heart soared. It’s a moment I’ll never forget.
For the record, my answer is that I would be more likely to marry Elysha if I met her today. Had you asked me this question on our wedding day, I would’ve said that I couldn’t love a human being more.
But then we had children, and I was able to watch Elysha become a mother for the first time – a brilliant, beautiful mother – and I found a new and even deeper love that I could’ve never before imagined.
