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The answer to “How dare you?”

I hate “How dare you?” I hate it so much.

How dare you is a meaningless bit of outrage. Argumentative spittle. A waste of three words. A ridiculous rhetorical question designed to express overdramatized personal outrage.

We must stop “How dare you?” in its tracks. Bring it to an end. Remove it from the lexicon.

When faced with, “How dare you?” your response must always be to answer this stupid question. 

Something like this:

“How dare I? I’d hardly call what I said daring. I’d characterize it more as a valid argument contain vast amounts of truth and wisdom. How dare I? Who even says that? Who relies upon rhetorical questions of such little meaning to make their point? How dare I? I dare with the strength and conviction of a person who knows he is right and is fighting for truth, justice, and the American way. That is how I dare. Now perhaps you could say something of substance and meaning rather than spitting rhetorical drivel.”

Maybe not exactly that, because it’s a lot, but something like it.

In the case of Kellyanne Conway, a simple, “How dare I? I dare because children are at stake, and I am a journalists whose job it is to ask hard questions and point out bigotry, intolerance, and cruelty wherever I see it. I dare because it’s my job to be daring.” 

I would’ve loved that so much. 

So practice. Prepare yourself for verbal combat. Be ready to fire off a response when faced with this stupid bit of rhetoric. I’ve had the great pleasure of pulling off a “How dare you” rant more than once (including a college classroom once in the midst of a debate), and it is truly a glorious thing.