As I started to wrap gifts on Christmas Eve, I switched on HBO, thinking, “Maybe I’ll watch that Elf movie for the first time. Or A Christmas Story. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Love Actually. Hey. Maybe Die Hard will be on.”
You know. One of those classic Christmas staples.
HBO had apparently failed to notice that it was Christmas Eve. When I flipped through the HBO channels, the offerings included:
The Terminator: A seemingly indestructible humanoid cyborg is sent from 2029 to 1984 to assassinate a waitress, whose unborn son will lead humanity in a war against the machines, while a soldier from that war is sent to protect her at all costs.
Fifty Shades Darker: Erotic romantic sequel to Fifty Shades of Gray. While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront the anger and envy of the women who came before her.
A United Kingdom: The story of King Seretse Khama of Botswana and how his loving but controversial marriage to a British white woman, Ruth Williams, put his kingdom into political and diplomatic turmoil.
Assassins Creed: Callum Lynch explores the memories of his ancestor Aguilar de Nerha and gains the skills of a Master Assassin, before taking on the secret Templar society.
Rock Dog: When a radio falls from the sky into the hands of a wide-eyed Tibetan Mastiff, he leaves home to fulfill his dream of becoming a musician, setting into motion a series of completely unexpected events.
Going in Style: Desperate to pay the bills and come through for their loved ones, three lifelong pals risk it all by embarking on a daring bid to knock off the very bank that absconded with their money.
What the hell was HBO thinking? Not one Christmas movie on Christmas Eve? If I was fringe lunatic Republican, I might accuse HBO of engaging in a war on Christmas.
No bother. I had plenty of movies recorded on my DVR and on demand programming
I watched The Bourne Ultimatum instead.
