The UK has a new Prime Minister. Unfortunately, it still has a stupid Queen.

The United Kingdom has a lot of problems right now. I don’t mean to pile on.

 But can’t we all agree that the need to meet and curtsey before some nonsense Queen who only earned her position through a series of ancestral sexual encounters in order to officially be declared Prime Minister is a ludicrous way to transfer power? 

I’m not anti-British in any way, but I’m anti-royalty in every way. 

Not only is genetics a stupid way to confer power, but the British monarchy costs the UK approximately £35.7 million per year, even though they own more property than anyone else in the United Kingdom. 

This whole situation is ridiculous. 

I have this dream that when Prince William assumes the throne someday, his first and only act would be to declare the British monarchy null and void. 

“I am the King of England because of a sexual encounter between my mother and my father, and because I was lucky enough to be born first. This is just stupid. This idiocy of the monarchy ends now.”

He’d turn Buckingham Palace into a museum, stick a photo booth over the throne for future visitors, hand over almost all of the royal estates to worthy charities, and retire to one of the no less than eight other royal residences (including at least three castles) that his family owns. 

That might be one of the most selfless and impressive things a person could ever do. 

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  1. EB

    As I understand it, the British monarchy is a major tourist draw and that the added revenue from tourism vastly outweighs the cost of having the monarchy. In order for your wish to come true, you’re going to need to convince people to stop going to the UK to see the royalty.

    1. Matthew Dicks

      If this is true, and the tourism is important, how about we make these royals ceremonial then? When the new Prime Minister needs to meet with the Queen, who is still the head of state, we have entered stupid land.

      Turn the royals into a British form of Disney World. Open up Buckingham Palace and all the other royal estates to the public. Make an animatronic Queen and Prince. Put a Ferris wheel on the front lawn. Just eliminate all official duties. That would at least be a start.

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