Today is our eighth wedding anniversary.
Last year I listed 99 reasons that I love my wife.
Today, I listed 99 new ones.
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1. She was not aware of the most recent royal birth until someone told her hours after it had happened
2. She does not play stupid iPhone or Facebook games
3. She asked me when Hard Knocks is starting again
4. She can navigate any mall flawlessly but almost nothing else
5. The complete lack of jealousy in her heart
6. The way she runs her hands through the back of my hair while I’m driving
7. She taught me the difference between knitting and sewing
8. She still gets angry when I confuse knitting and sewing
9. She threw away all my A-neck tee shirts when we began dating
10. She does not gossip
11. She has never whined about needing coffee or needing Starbucks
12. She has never raised her voice to me or our children
13. The way she drapes her legs across me as she sleeps
14. Her macaroni-and-cheese and sloppy Joe combo
15. The way she looks in shorts
16. Her brilliant, understated, hilarious hosting of Speak Up
17. The way she’s consistently funny but doesn’t know it
18. Her brutal but effective editing of my stories for the stage
19. She knows how to fold a fitted sheet
20. Her unfounded faith in a good manicure
21. Her ability to garner hundreds of responses on Facebook to the most basic and benign question
22. The mobiles that she made for our children hang above our children’s beds and will likely hand over our grandchildren’s beds someday
23. She doesn’t read People, US, or any of those other gossipy, trivial Hollywood magazines
24. Her ability to find a consignment shop bargain
25. Her unwavering forgiveness of others who don’t deserve it
26. Her appreciation for my willingness to say yes to almost anything
27. She made her own handbag but never brags about it
28. Her ability to sell out all of our Speak Up storytelling events through word-of-mouth alone
29. The number of times my friends have envied my choice of wife
30. Her enrapturing read-aloud voice
31. Her unrelenting attempts to get me to try new foods
32. Convincing me to give Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me a try
33. The palpable, almost visible pride that she expresses in me
34. Her heated defense of me when I am unjustifiably maligned
35. Holding her hand while walking the streets of NYC
36. Our in-depth post-Moth StorySLAM analyses of each story
37. Her ongoing, daily, unwavering sacrifices for our children
38. Her unwarranted fear of the lawn mower
39. The way that she somehow, someway, cuts our children’s fingernails (something I could never do)
40. Our ability to communicate nonverbally at almost freakish levels
41. Her adoration for her nieces and nephews
42. Her ability to get to know my large, extended family better than me
43. How she meaningfully connects with people via Facebook without immersing herself in Facebook and making Facebook haters sound stupid in their inability to understand the effective use of Facebook.
44. Her choice of our daughter’s name
45. The way she looks when her hair is pulled back away from her face
46. The way she can make an old pair of sweatpants and one of my tee shirts look incredible
47. The kisses that she presses from her hand to the shower door for me and our children while she is showering
48. Her appreciation for This American Life, Radio Lab, and other somewhat nerdy audio content
49. Our near-uniform taste in television
50. Her legs
51. The wrinkle between her eyes that forms when she is confused
52. The way she taps her lips with four fingers when pondering the way to word something
53. How she is able almost instantly to connect with young people in truly meaningful ways
54. The unadulterated joy that she experiences while holding a baby
55. Her complete lack of helicopter parenting
56. How she is so much like her parents and so different than her parents simultaneously
57. Her remarkable courage to be herself
58. The infinitesimal amounts of makeup that she wears
59. The way that she has passed her love and knowledge of show tunes onto our daughter
60. The pride that I feel in knowing that I am always the man with the most beautiful woman in the room and truly believing it
61. Her unwavering demand that we get up, get out, and do something in the world when so often our daughter and I would prefer to remain at home, eating cereal and living like animals
62. The way she looks in a straw hat
63. Her embracing of my macaroni-and-cheese and hot dog combination
64. The music that fills our home thanks to her
65. Her often untapped, rarely seen ability to write exceptionally well
66. Our uniform understanding that a hot dog is best without any condiments
67. The way I lie in bed every night, still in disbelief that I got to marry this woman
68. Her apparent inability to age
69. Talking to her about our perfect wedding
70. Her desire to want to know everything that happened to me during my most recent round of golf
71. “The best part of your day” tradition that she started at dinner each night
72. The love for art and creation that she has passed onto both of our children
73. The way that she has taught our daughter to identify and appreciate flowers
74. Her love for pets makes her miserable at times
75. Her unwavering belief that everything will be okay and her ability to occasionally transfer that belief to me
76. Overhearing her speak about the pride she has in my accomplishments
77. The way every wedding makes me yearn to be dancing with her
78. The smile that consumes her face when she speaks about her alma mater.
79. The Christmas traditions that she has embraced and shared with our children
80. The indescribable joy that I feel when she laughs at a line from a story that I have written or am telling
81. She can name more than half of the Supreme Court justices
82. The way she looks with her bare feet on the dashboard during long car rides
83. The way that any guest coming over for a meal is an opportunity to scan at least five cookbooks for the perfect recipe
84. The way that she puts our daughter’s hair in pigtails
85. Her ability to plan for almost every in-car contingency in order to keep our children quiet and happy
86. Her ability to operate, manipulate, and repair computer technology without ever asking for assistance from me
87. How we divide and conquer when it comes to so many of our household responsibilities
88. Her willingness to allow me to continue living even after I wash an item of clothing on an incorrect setting
89. Her remarkably calm, quick thinking in an emergency
90. The way that she makes each day that she has at home with our children meaningful and special
91. The way she looks in a bathing suit and a pair of sunglasses
92. The way that ordering a drink and ice cream are almost identically complicated processes for her
93. Her calm, measured, reasonable approach to handling our daughter’s peanut allergy
94. The way she sends me photographs of our children at precisely the moment that I am missing them most
95. The way that none of my performances are nearly as rewarding when she is not in the audience
96. Her unwillingness to over-complicate things and her desire for simplicity whenever possible
97. Her willingness to listen and seriously consider my crazy ideas before dismissing them
98. The way I get to simply be me, in a way I have never been me before, now that I am with her.
99. Our wedding vows, both hers and mine, which I read often.
