Nineteenth century women did some insane things in the pursuit of beauty. But the modern woman is a hell of a lot crazier.

Mental Floss lists 11 Really Terrible 19th-Century Beauty Tips. They include:

  • Bathe in ammonia.
  • Don’t wash your face, hands, or hair.
  • Dash soap suds into your eyes to keep them clean.
  • Sit naked by the window in order to absorb sunlight and “vapor bathe.”
  • Keep your eyelashes trimmed daily.

Strange, yes. But are they any more strange than today’s female beauty tips, which include:

  • Change your eyelid color to shades of pink or green.
  • Install bags of saline in your breasts to enhance their size.
  • Cook your skin to a shade of brown via cancerous ultraviolet radiation.
  • Undergo a process in which dermalogen is taken from your skin and is transformed into a high-concentration collagen slurry that is injected into your lips to enhance their size.
  • Don shoes with heels that will permanently damage your feet over the course of a lifetime.
  • Burn your hair daily until it is sufficiently straight.

I admire my wife for many reasons, but one is her rejection of the beauty industry’s trappings.

She does so little to pursue beauty and looks so damn good.

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