Archive for 2011
Business idea using a Google search and a willing celebrity
Am I late to the party of this particular piece of genius? Twitter feed: @OldManSearch The Twitter bio reads: My dad is 81 years old. I’m teaching him how to use the Internet. I told him Twitter was how to search things on Google. These tweets are what he’s searching. Brilliant. Right? How’s this for…
Read MoreMy daughter may be choosing her career path
Maybe she’ll be a lyricist on Broadway, since she speaks almost entirely in singsong at times. Or perhaps a builder. Of castles. Or maybe she’s planning on becoming a militaristic dance instructor.
Read MoreThe Emperor might have been better off with Han Solo and Luke Skywalker foiling his plans
Star Wars fans, I have a question: What exactly was the Emperor’s endgame? Let’s say that he managed to crush the rebel alliance and turn Luke to the dark side. Then what? So he rules the galaxy? Was his ultimate goal to be the boss of everyone? It seems a little anticlimactic to me. Did…
Read MoreWorst Hanukkah ever
It was a wonderful first night of Hanukkah for my wife. Her husband, who found out he had pneumonia just few hours earlier, was lying on the couch, hacking and shivering, drifting in and out of consciousness. Instead of her planned dinner of brisket with family and friends, she enjoyed a meal of chicken soup…
Read MoreOne of my favorite words was added to the American Heritage Dictionary
Presenteeism: The act of attending work while sick. I’ve gone to work with pneumonia, because I am a hero. Also because I’m a huge stupid-headed moron.
Read MoreInexplicably real
This is real. I just can’t decide if it’s ingenious or disgusting. These Jersey Shore Christmas tree ornaments are also real. There’s no debating what I think of them.
Read MoreDeadlines be damned!
My pregnant wife and my little girl can be quite distracting when I am trying to write.
Read MoreThey tried to slice my throat open, but I stopped them with my words.
I was having lunch with my wife and a college friend. I was eating clam chowder when on object became lodged in my throat. It was not blocking the airway completely, but it was most assuredly stuck. Based upon what I was eating, we assumed that it was a fish bone or a bit of…
Read MoreMy two simple rules of gift giving
The New York Times reported on research from social scientists that seems to indicate the following in relation to gift giving: You don’t have to spend any time looking for “thoughtful” gifts. You don’t have to spend much money, either. Actually, you may not have to spend any money. I won’t get into the reasons…
Read MoreI hereby call for a boycott on the stupidity of packaged greeting cards
At some point in recent history, it was determined that a certain breed of pretentious, overpriced, faux-artsy greeting cards should be individually wrapped in cellophane. This must stop. Not only does it allow these greeting card companies to charge you $5 or more for a greeting card, but the practice is wasteful and purposeless, and…
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