I was naked onstage
I am quite susceptible to hypnosis. This trait may run in the family. My mother, a smoker for more than twenty-five years, quit cold turkey after one hypnosis session. I…
Nothing like an ominous hammer cock
I watch a lot of partial movies on AMC while I am working out. Depending on the elliptical machine, I often have closed captioning automatically turned on for the film.…
Dating in Stop & Shop
When I was in high school, I would take girls to the local Stop & Shop on a first date. When I told this to my wife, she asked what…
US Weekly a mystery to me
This was the magazine cover that I was staring at yesterday while waiting in line at the supermarket. Here’s the good news: I did not recognize the woman on the…
I can’t die at my desk unnoticed. Oh well.
Teaching isn’t the easiest or the best paying job, but I have always wanted to teach and am happy that I chose this profession. In addition to the daily joys…
When your country is one thousand years old, things can get quite complicated
With the sale of my new book to a British publisher, I felt it was time to finally understand one of the great mysteries of life: United Kingdom versus Great…
Techno-toddler
My two-year old daughter, who cannot pronounce the letter L in the word please and is not potty trained, picked up my wife’s iPhone and brought it over to the…
This ain’t my childhood library
When I was a kid, my local library did not look like this: Since when did libraries become equipped with germ-laden toys for children to fight over while their…
My house is a veritable palace
I was complaining about my house yesterday. The first floor windows are dreadful and in serious need of replacement. It was so cold in my office that I can see…
Every boy loves Nessie
I will be extremely upset if incontrovertible evidence of the Loch Ness Monster is unearthed after I die. Every boy on the planet wants the Loch Ness Monster to be…
