Trash
I was getting my haircut last week. and the usually bustling salon was relatively empty. Just me, the woman cutting my hair (not my regular stylist) and a customer on…
If the word “common” is in the name…
If it’s so common (and it is) why is it in a zoo? I had just as much chance as seeing one of these birds in the tree beside the…
Dueling with my literary agent
This morning I wrote the last words of CHICKEN SHACK, finishing the book in almost exactly one year. After getting up to pee and grab a cookie, I sat back…
Can’t stand a snob
I learned today that the lack of applause between movements in a classical music performance is a 20th century convention, and it is the result of snobbery. In Beethoven, Mozart,…
Great moments in academia: #1
I had three great academic moments in college. The first: I majored in English while in college, with a concentration in creative writing. My focus was upon fiction, but during…
You are probably not real
According to some researchers, there is at least a twenty percent chance that we are currently living in a computer simulation. In fact, if you accept a pretty reasonable assumption…
Insecurity
I saw this Botero sculpture in the Time Warner Center in New York City earlier this week. “That’s quite a situation he has going on,” I said to my wife…
Never play halfway
I was on the elliptical machine last night, watching the Red Sox-Rangers game. During my forty minute workout, the Sox look pitiful. The Rangers had already stolen nine bases on…
Leave my goddamn grass alone.
I would like to propose a new man rule: Men don't comment on the state of another man's lawn. A friend of mine came over the other day and noted…
Justified pride?
Is it wrong that I took so much pleasure in beating my former students and a bunch of teenagers in laser tag this afternoon? I mean, I crushed them. In…
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