Archive for June 2010
False promises and The Matty Factor
I borrowed a pair of cuff links from my DJ partner, Bengi, before last week’s wedding. Mine are missing, and after finding one of them on the floor of my classroom and not knowing how the hell it got there, I think the other one is gone for good. Bengi agreed to lend me his…
Read MoreA disservice to womankind
This weekend, I was interviewing the longest married couples at a wedding, asking them if they had any advice for our bride and groom. One lady responded: Do a lot of shopping. Buy lots of shoes, but keep them in the trunk of your car. Never bring more than one pair of shoes into the…
Read MoreI did. It didn’t.
The most frequently perpetuated lie ever told:
Read MoreMother’s Day kind of sucks. Huh?
The run-up to Father’s Day is often dominated by gadget guides that contain gifts referred to as “toys for the man in your life.” Cameras, universal remotes, cell phones, game systems, flat-screen televisions, power tools, GPS units, and sports equipment are touted as the must-buy gifts for Dads everywhere. The list of traditional Mother’s Day…
Read MoreElysha rules
I was recently reminded of this exchange of words from a few years ago. Elysha and I were walking around the reservoir with another couple when the wife asked Elysha how she might describe me. Elysha’s response: “He’s a tough hunk of man meat.” Why?” I asked. “How would you describe your husband (a good…
Read MorePlease explain Mr. Jobs
When entering a new phone number into a contact list on the iPhone, the user is given the choice of identifying the origin of the number as: Work, home, mobile, main, fax, pager, other or iPhone. I love my iPhone, and thanks to the excellent 3G service that we enjoy in Connecticut, I have very…
Read MoreGolf with an added bonus
After saying goodbye to my students this afternoon, I spent the rest of the afternoon playing golf with a good friend named Phil. I managed to beat him (again), but this time only by a single stroke, and only after having to call a PGA professional at another golf course in order to get a…
Read MoreBittersweet summer vacation
One of my students told me that in an effort to try something new, she drank a glass of milk followed by half a glass of chocolate syrup. “Then I jumped up and down to mix it all in my belly to make chocolate milk.” Then she paused for a moment, smiled, and said, “It…
Read MoreGirl Scout reboot required
After finishing my second successful term as President of the United States, I intend on taking over the Girl Scouts and turning that waste-of-time organization into something that can truly benefit its female membership. As a member of the Boy Scouts, I learned valuable skills that I continue to use to this day. With extensive…
Read MoreDelicious and tragic
From the ages of 18-21 I lived with my friend and future DJ partner, Bengi, in an apartment in Attleboro,Massachusetts that we affectionately called The Heavy Metal Playhouse. While Bengi attended Bryant College, I did everything a college student typically does except going to class. It made for a wonderful three years but not surprisingly…
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