Spoiled
I know it’s not even July, but football season is nearly upon us and I couldn’t be happier. In just a couple short months, my beloved Patriots will begin playing…
Telltale signs
I was listening to an interesting story on mapping on This American Life today, and it gave me the idea of writing the short story or a novella in which…
Slacker book club extraordinaire
I’m a member of a slacker book club. Yes, I’ve heard stories about slacker book clubs before, and perhaps you are even a member of one yourself. But my slacker…
Confirmed perfection
I was watching Journeyman today, a show that was sadly cancelled by NBC after just one season. In the episode, two characters are discussing the possibility of marriage. The female…
Avoid cannibalism under these McSweeney’s-referenced circumstances
I reference the apocalypse often. Not the apocalypse mentioned in the Bible, but the real possibility that someday, governments will collapse as a result of a man-made or natural disaster…
Confronting a coward
I was standing in line at 7-11 yesterday. The line was long and not moving quickly. There was only one register open and I could see the frustration on the…
An absolute out-of-the-park must-read
Behold! The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, my newest favoritest place on the Internets. Wit and wisdom, combined with amusing pop-culture references and a deep understand of the human condition. A…
Pay to pray is shameful and disgusting. It needs to end.
A few years ago, in an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” the comedian Larry David bought scalpers’ tickets to his congregation’s High Holy Day services, and was kicked out when…
Monopoly, short and cruel
When I was a kid, I stopped playing Monopoly because of my best friend, Bengi. Whenever we sat down to play, he would rally the other players against me, making…
The bird
My hands contain a total of ten digits. Eight fingers and two thumbs. Though these appendages are my own, social mores prevent me from raising my middle finger while in…
