TheKnot.com is a website that many people (mostly women) use in order to plan their weddings. I am familiar with this site because my DJ company has been recommended on it many times in the past.
Yesterday I was directed to one of these recommendations, and while there, I noticed for the first time that TheKnot has expanded.
Considerably.
The site now includes TheNest.com, which provides advice on buying a home, investing, decorating and cooking.
Now that you’re married, ladies, allow The Nest to guide you along as you buy a new home, invest your money, purchase a couch and cook delicious meals.
And when it’s time for a baby, have no fear. There is also TheBump.com, a site that claims to assist in getting pregnant, being pregnant and choosing a baby name.
What’s next?
SpankMyChild.com? Helpful parenting tips and an assortment of effective punishments for the new mother.
TheOtherWoman.com? Ideas and strategies on confronting your lying, cheating husband and amassing an incontrovertible storehouse of evidence to use against the jackass in court.
TheHotFlash.com? Support and guidance for ladies experiencing the joys of menopause.
Just for the record, thehotflash.com already exists (and hasn’t been updated in nine years), but theotherwoman.com and spankmychild.com are still up for grabs.
I find this continued outreach of The Knot to be very clever, particular in light of the state of mind of most women as they approach their wedding day.
About a third of the brides with whom I work as a DJ assert at one time or another that they are considering becoming wedding planners, explaining that the accumulated expertise and research that they have done for their own wedding now qualifies them to assist others. They often proudly and almost reverently motion to their bursting-at-the-seams bridal binder when making such assertions, assuring me that the information contained therein is worth its weight in gold.
I don’t have the heart to tell them that more than half of all brides have binders equally large.
And while these brides may truly believe that they would make excellent wedding planners, I secretly believe that most of them are simply experiencing post-nuptial depression, the enormous, cavernous hole left in their lives when the planning, strategizing, purchasing and stress of planning a wedding is suddenly gone. The moment that some women have dreamed about for their entire lives is over, and now they must face a lifetime absent of such a dream.
Some convert their planning energy to decorating energy. Thus TheNest.com.
Some hurry up and have kids. Thus TheBump.com.
Others get depressed. Thus Prozac.
Still others hope to continue planning weddings by proxy. These are the wedding planning dreamers.
And I think TheKnot has wisely recognized this phenomenon and provided these women with an opportunity to remain plugged into the community that has become so important to them for so long. It’s a way for the overtime bride to slowly and painlessly ease away from the overwhelming realm of wedding planning rather than allowing the honeymoon to cut it off quickly and cleanly.
Contrary to popular belief, sometimes it’s easier to peal the band-Aid off slowly rather than tearing it off.
Clever on The Knot’s part, if this is the case, but it seems a little cruel as well.
Sort of like bride crack. Keep them addicted and coming back for more.
