Last week, I posted my lessons learned after 15 years of parenting.
Today, I’ll add this (upon request from the parent of a newborn and a pregnant mother):
The Three Most Important Parenting Decisions Elysha and I Have Ever Made
Decision #1: We found a way to allow Elysha to remain home for Clara’s first ten years and Charlie’s first seven years.
I know that keeping one parent home for a decade would be impossible for many, so Elysha and I know how fortunate we were. But we also spent a decade in our home with a smattering of hand-me-down furniture, hand-me-down appliances, and an ancient television. We purchased almost no new clothing for ourselves, went on no vacations, and occasionally ran out of money.
Sacrifices were made. They were all well worth it.
Decision #2: We still haven’t given our children phones and have kept them off all social media.
At the ages of 15 and 11, neither child owns a phone. Neither has access to social media nor have they ever looked at Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, or any other social media. They may be some of the only children in their respective schools not carrying a phone or watching videos on TikTok, but they are far better off for it.
Keep those phones out of your children’s hands as long as humanly possible. They are distracting, addicting, attention-destroying devices, and almost everything on them, from social media to mindless games to unfettered access to the internet, is a disaster.
Decision #3: We consume almost all our media as a family.
Almost every movie and television show our children have ever watched has been watched with at least one other family member and, most of the time, with the entire family. When we sit down in front of the television, it’s almost always as a family, making movies and television a communal experience.
We do not retreat to our separate corners of the home to watch whatever we want. Our children do not consume content that we haven’t already approved. Our house has only one television. We invest in as much live entertainment as possible.
We make our viewing decisions as a family so that we can watch, debate, and discuss what we watch after the fact, thus making it a true family experience.
I can’t recommend it enough.
