Sprezzatura

A friend of mine introduced me to a new word today:

Sprezzatura

I explained to her how I have always treated my post-high school education like a competition—all my classmates versus me in a battle to determine who was best.

Receiving an exceptional grade was great, but knowing I was on top was even better.

As such, I routinely found ways to demoralize my classmates while trying to climb to the top:

• Finishing tests as quickly as possible.
• Casually displaying high marks for my classmates to see.
• Making it appear as if completing a tough homework assignment was an afterthought.
• Preparing two or three insightful comments before class, usually based upon research in an area that appealed to the professor.

In one psychology class, I purposely piled my desk with objects so that when I finished the test, I could make as much noise as possible while gathering my things to alert my classmates that I was done.

This particular professor always opted for a multiple choice exam – a format in which I have always excelled both in score and speed – so I knew that I would likely finish the test before any of my classmates.

The opportunity to make a scene was probable.

In short, I was a jerk.

And so, to describe my attitude, my friend gave me sprezzatura:

“A certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.”

I love this word. I love how much honesty and nuance it captures.

My friend also asked if I thought the desire to defeat my classmates in these petulant mind games represented a healthy lifestyle.

It wasn’t healthy in the way broccoli is a supposedly healthy food, but I don’t think it was an unhealthy way to live, either. And it kept me endlessly entertained throughout my college years, which was important.

But it certainly wasn’t kind.

I also did quite well in college and achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a teacher, an author, and a performer. I’m not implying that my attempt to demoralize my classmates had anything to do with my success, but who knows?