I’m in a single-use restroom. The door is locked.
Someone on the outside jiggles the handle to see if it’s locked.
It’s locked.
Then comes an act of utter stupidity:
They knock.
Even though the person on the outside has discovered that the door is locked, they knock anyway, which is crazy, because there are only one or two possibilities:
- A human being is occupying the restroom, which I am.
- The door is somehow locked with no one inside, which happens when?
Either way, the knock is stupid because it yields nothing. It only puts the person inside the restroom in the awkward position of having to say something like, “I’m in here!” or “Occupied!” or one of my favorite options:
“The door is locked, but no one is in here!”
I’ve admittedly only used that response twice in my life, but both times were glorious.
I’ve also used “Hello?” and “No one’s home” and “Bring me a shuberry!”
Most often, I simply say nothing and let the knocker stew in their stupidity.
Seriously, who are these people who find the door locked but knock anyway?
Probably the same morons who flush toilet paper and sanitary supplies down the toilet, forcing our lives to be littered with signs advising against it.
