PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
November was a dangerous month.
I changed a flat tire on I-95 at 12:30 AM.
I was scratched by my cat but managed to avoid cat scratch fever.
I played in our school’s annual flag football game and made a diving catch that wrenched my shoulder.
It still hurts a little.
But I’m still alive.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I lost one pound in November.
Down just four pounds for the year.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
Done. Almost all indoors. Didn’t miss a single day in November.
5. Establish my golfing handicap, then lower that handicap by at least 2.
Handicap established at the beginning of the year was a whopping 35.4.
Handicap is currently 17.6, down 5 strokes since October.
Lessons work.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel.
I’m well on my way to finishing the revision of my middle-grade novel. I’ve also started working on my next adult novel in earnest.
Between the middle-grade novel and the new adult novel, one should be completed by the end of the year, I hope.
7. Prepare “Storyworthy 2” or update “Storyworthy” or both for a potential sale.
DONE! The follow-up to “Storyworthy” – “You Are Storyworthy” – won’t be my next nonfiction title, even though it’s written. I’ll be writing a different storytelling book first for strategic reasons.
Still, the book is done and will be published eventually.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
One picture book is completed and in the hands of my agent. We will be looking for a publisher shortly.
I’ve almost finished a manuscript from 2021 entitled “Who Put the Baby in a Tree?”
I’ve also started two new picture books.
9. Complete a memoir.
I have two memoirs in progress.
One about the two-year period when I was arrested, jailed, and tried for a crime I did not commit, which also led to homelessness then a pantry off a kitchen that I shared with a goat. I was also the victim of a horrific robbery at that time that left me with a lifetime of PTSD amongst other awfulness. Also participation in an underground arm wrestling and gambling ring.
The second is about the two-year period in which a lowly band of anonymous cowards attempted to destroy my teaching career.
My agent and I have decided to put these books on the back burner. Memoir is a tougher sell right now unless you’re a legitimate celebrity or the inventor of a bionic eye.
Still, both ideas will make excellent books.
10. Write a new screenplay.
I spoke to my writing partner, who has been derailed from our project by several other projects. We hope to resume writing soon.
11. Write a solo show.
I’m working on a solo show based on my arrest and trial for a crime I didn’t commit, but I have another idea:
List all the things I’ve ever stolen on a chalkboard and then tell a story about each one. Cleverly construct a narrative that encompasses all the stories.
But I spent a long car ride with my production manager, structuring an entirely different story. I’m booking a theater as soon as possible. Hopefully before the end of the year.
Any theater managers want to book me?
12. Write a musical.
Writing has commenced! I’m writing the book and will be passing it onto my writing partner soon.
13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
DONE!
Seven essays submitted so far to the New York Times in 2022.
14. Write at least four letters to my father.
Letter #2 was sent in November. A Veteran’sDay card.
15. Write 100 letters in 2022.
DONE! A total of 20 letters were written in November, including a thank you note as well as letters to students and a parent of a student.
A total of 184 letters written in 2022 so far.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
I’ve passed this project on to my production manager, but she’s busy with other things at the moment.
17. Read at least 12 books.
DONE! I’ve read 26 books in 2022 so far.
I read the following books in November:
“The Fearless Organization” by Amy Edmondson
I’m currently reading books:
“Foreverland” by Heather Havrilesky
“From Saturday Night to Sunday Night” by Dick Ebersol
“Wow. No Thank You” by Samantha Irby
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“The Groucho Letters”
My list of completed books now includes:
“We Don’t Need Roads: The Making of the Back to the Future Trilogy”
“Confidence Man”
“Telephone”
“I’d Like to Play Alone, Please”
“Revolutionary Summer: The Birth of American Independence”
“The Nineties”
“The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs”
“Nice Try”
“The World’s Worst Assistant”
“Adventures in the Screen Trade”
“I’ll Show Myself Out”
“How to Tell a Story”
“The Lightning Thief”
“Contagious”
“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown”
“It’s So Easy”
“Poetics”
“The Office BFFs”
“Making Numbers Count”
“The Passion Economy”
“Empire of Pain”
“The Anthropocene Reviewed”
“Liar’s Poker”
“Matrix”
“Coreyography”
18. Write to at least six authors about a book that I especially like.
No letters were written in November.
Three letters so far in 2022.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
19. Complete the recordings for my new business for at least two target consumers.
Recording for the first set of target consumers (corporate folk) is done!
I’ll ultimately need to re-record everything because I can see all the places for improvement, but for now, it’s done and is very good.
Just not excellent yet.
Once we launch, I will begin recording videos for our next target customer. Unlikely to complete the second set of recordings in 2022.
20. Engage with LinkedIn at least once per week.
Success! I received a ton of direct messages in November and responded to each of them. I also posted original at least half a dozen times.
21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
Done!
Six shows produced so far in 2022.
We produced a virtual show in collaboration with my school on March 19.
We produced a live, outdoor show in partnership with the Hill-stead Museum on July 13.
I produced two live storytelling shows at The Mount on July 16 and 17.
We produced my book launch event – including storytelling – on July 30.
We produced “Red Talks: Presented by Confessions of a Mensturator” on October 8.
22. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I pitched to a total of five TEDx conferences back in April.
Two have passed on my pitches. I await word on two others.
But good news! The 2023 TEDx conference at the University of Connecticut has accepted me!
I also spoke at TEDxCornell back in April.
I’ve also helped three clients get accepted to TEDx conferences this year. One of my clients took the stage in October and reportedly killed it.
23. Attend at least 6 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
DONE! One Moth event in November. My name was not pulled from the bag.
A total of 16 Moth events so far in 2022.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! THREE TIMES!
I won a StorySLAM in New York in February.
I won a StorySLAM in Boston in June.
I won a Moth StorySLAM in Washington, DC in August.
I’ve won three out of six StorySLAMs in 2022. A little below my average win rate, but still not bad.
The next time I take the stage at a Moth StorySLAM will be my one-hundredth StorySLAM performance.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.x
DONE! TWICE!
I won Boston’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Wilbur on April 26.
I won New York City’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Williamsburg on May 16.
It was my eighth and ninth GrandSLAM championships.
I’m competing in another Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in December.
26. Produce at least 12 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
We have yet to record an episode in 2022.
27. Convert my YouTube channel into an actual channel.
I’m declaring this goal complete. My production manager re-designed the channel, and I’ve been accumulating content for release. I’ve also curated the content on the channel. removing material that is no longer relevant.
My team has also launched a second YouTube channel for our new business.
28. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2022.
I have a list of open mics that are currently running in Connecticut. More than enough to resume.
I’m still trying to find the courage (and time) to get back on the stand-up stage.
29. Pitch a story to This American Life.
DONE! I pitched one story to This American Life in April.
30. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
Done. Three pitches were made in 2022. No response.
31. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
DONE!
Six more newsletters were sent in November as my new business officially launched.
Admittedly, I have a team of people helping me write these newsletters now, but if I don’t write a newsletter myself, it comes from content I previously produced, and I revise and edit it before sending it to subscribers.
A total of 29 sent so far in 2022.
I’ll be returning to a more regular, bi-weekly schedule moving forward.
HOME
32. Clear the basement.
Still working through the mess made when the contractor built the studio. Organization is being worked on, but a considerable number of items need to be removed.
I’m still making incremental progress.
33. Organize the children’s books.
DONE!
Books were removed from the kids’ bedrooms and divided into three bunches:
- Keep in rotation for kids/students (now been returned to shelves).
- Store for future grandchildren (now stored in the basement)
- Give away to those in need (now donated).
FAMILY/FRIENDS
34. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
Done.
35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
Just one in November. Actually three, but they were all taken on the same day.
37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
A date had been chosen for August, but because of vacations, I will be rescheduling soon.
38. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2022 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. Life is so much better then you don’t open your mouth to speak negatively about someone else’s appearance.
Also, more than two dozen people have also begun adhering to this goal in 2022.
39. Compliment one person every day on a topic unrelated to physical appearance.
This turns out to be easier than I thought, at least as long as I’m teaching. I constantly give my students positive feedback, and I compliment my own children and Elysha quite a bit.
In addition to complimenting my students and family, I also spent October complimenting many clients, lots of friends on the golf course, a bunch of my teaching colleagues, and a McDonald’s employee.
This goal has proven to be a layup.
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2022.
DONE!
I surprised Elysha with another Pusheen Club box in November.
Surprises in 2022 also include:
- Tickets to “The Old Man in the Pool” with Mike Birbiglia
- A well-timed Starbucks caramel macchiato
- Pusheen Club box, filled with an assortment of movie-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A complete set of Smith College china
- A card on her dashboard following a less-than-ideal April vacation.
- A surprise visit to her classroom on an especially challenging day to bring her a cupcake.
- A card mailed to her school with thoughts of encouragement and love, written by “The Universe.”
- A planned weekend getaway (later this summer) for her and a friend to Water’s Edge, a resort and spa on the coast of Connecticut.
- Flowers on Mexican Mother’s Day
- Pusheen Club box, featuring garden-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A signed first edition of “From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler” by E.L. Konigsburg
- Tickets to Hamilton on Broadway
- Pusheen Club box, featuring school-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A box of small gifts presented on the night before the first day of school
- Tickets to Beetlejuice on Broadway for November
- Tickets to the CT Forum to see Sonia Sotomayor in November
- Cupcakes for our Labor Day “end of summer” dinner
That’s 21 surprises so far in 2022.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2022.
No games in November. .
Just two games in total in 2022.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Four days spent together so far in 2022.
NEW PROJECTS
43. Create an emergency preparedness kit for each car.
Done! Emergency preparedness kits purchased. I’ve also added several necessary items to each.
44. Memorize the lyrics to at least 5 favorite songs.
Done! Charlie and I are working on “Renegade” now.
Songs I’ve memorized this year include:
“Fat Bottomed Girls
“Come On Eileen”
“Mr. Blue Sky”
“Come Sail Away”
“Come a Little Closer”
“More Than a Feeling”
45. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Another task passed off to my production manager, who has been working on it. A lot trickier than expected.
47. Memorize 5 new poems.
Memorized:
- “Fire and Ice” by Robert Frost
- “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost
- “This Is Just to Say” by William Carlos William
- “I’m Nobody. Who Are You” by Emily Dickinson
Working on three others.
48. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
49. Understand Instagram better.
Done! My social media team is now running parts of my Instagram, and I understand what they are doing, how they did it, and why they are doing it.
50. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I’ve reached out to a local church and the town of Newington in an effort to move the project from Blackstone, MA to Newington, CT and perhaps involve Charlie’s Boy Scout troop. I have yet to connect with the person in charge because even small-town government moves slowly.
But I’m excited.
51. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
