Resolution update: May 2022
PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Happily healthy.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I lost one pound in May. I’ve lost a whopping three pounds in 2022.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done. Still not easy following my surgery and hiatus.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
I rode the bike for at least 5 days per week in May, including multiple rides on the actual bike and multiple rides on a single day.
5. Establish my golfing handicap, then lower that handicap by at least 2.
Handicap established at the beginning of the year was a whopping 35.4.
I dropped it down another point in May to 25.7, which is terrible but a lot lower than the start of the season.
Lessons scheduled for June.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel.
“Someday is Today” is complete. It hits bookstores on June 7. You should preorder immediately and make me happy. You’re running out of time.
I’ve submitted my golf memoir to my agent for consideration.
I’m well on my way to finishing the revision of my middle grade novel while tinkering with my next adult novel.
I’ve also partnered with a friend on a new book.
Between the middle grade novel and the new adult novel, one should be completed by the end of the year, I hope.
7. Prepare “Storyworthy 2” or update “Storyworthy” or both for potential sale.
Done! Decisions on the next book being strategized now.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
I continue work on a new picture book entitled “Hug a Fish.” I’m creating the actual book alongside my students, who are also creating their own. It features a female, non-white protagonist.
I’m also working on a partially written manuscript from 2021 entitled “Who Put the Baby in a Tree?”
9. Complete a memoir.
I have two memoirs in progress:
One about the two year period when I was arrested, jailed, and tried for a crime I did not commit, which also led to homelessness then a pantry off a kitchen that I shared with a goat. I was also the victim of a horrific robbery at that time that left me with a lifetime of PTSD amongst other awfulness.
Also participation in an underground arm wrestling and gambling ring.
The second is about the two year period in which a lowly band of anonymous cowards attempted to destroy my teaching career.
I’m strategizing with my agent over which to write first.
I wrote about 5,,000 words between the two manuscripts in May.
10. Write a new screenplay.
I spoke to my writing partner, who has been derailed from our project by several projects. We hope to resume writing soon.
11. Write a solo show.
I’m working on a solo show based upon my arrest and trial for a crime I didn’t commit, but I have another idea:
List all the things I’ve ever stolen on a chalkboard and then tell a story about each one. Cleverly construct a narrative that encompasses all the stories.
12. Write a musical.
Outline received from my writing partner, Kaia. We plan to work on the project this summer, using the memoir pages to inform the work.
13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
One essay submitted to the New York Times in May for consideration. Rejected.
One essay also submitted to the Hartford Courant. Awaiting word.
Four essays submitted so far to the New York Times in 2022.
14. Write at least four letters to my father.
First letter started.
15. Write 100 letters in 2022.
A total of 24 letters written in May, including letters to students, colleagues, storytellers, one of my children’s doctors, and letters of gratitude to four of my former teachers for Teacher Appreciation Day. Happily, I’ve already exchanged letters with of them and will be having lunch with another in July.
A total of 73 letters written in 2022 so far.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
I’ve passed this project onto my production manager, but she’s busy with other things at the moment.
17. Read at least 12 books.
I read the following books in May:
“Making Numbers Count” by Chip Heath and Carla Starr
“Poetics” by Aristotle
“The Office BFFs” by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey
This brings my total number of books read to 9.
I’m currently reading six books:
“Telephone” by Percival Everett
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“Index: A History Of The” by Dennis Duncan
“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown” by Amy Gary
“The Areas of My Expertise” by John Hodgman
“The Groucho Letters”
I may abandon one or more of these books because I am not enjoying them.
My list of completed books now includes:
“Poetics”
“The Office BFFs”
“Making Numbers Count”
“The Passion Economy”
“Empire of Pain”
“The Anthropocene Reviewed”
“Liar’s Poker”
“Matrix”
“Coreyography”
18. Write to at least six authors about a book that I especially like.
Letters written to Stephen King and Michael Lewis in April.
Two letters so far.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
19. Complete the recordings for my new business for at least two target consumers.
Recording for the first set of target consumers (corporate folk) is nearly done. I expect that I’ll need to record a few more to fill in some gaps, but the work is on the precipice of completion.
Once we launch, I will begin recording videos for our next target customer.
I’ve also decided to skip the whisper room – a pre-fab recording studio for the basement – and simply finish the basement, including an office and recording studio for me. We had a contractor out last week and are awaiting the estimate.
20. Engage with LinkedIn at least once per week.
Success! I received more than a dozen direct messages in May and responded to each of them. Two were recruiters looking to land me a new job.
I like my current job very much.
I also posted twice on the platform.
21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
We produced a virtual show in March in collaboration with my school on March 19.
My book launch event – featuring lots of storytelling – will take place on June 17.
We have a live, outdoor show scheduled on July 13 in partnership with the Hill-stead Museum.
I’ll be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at The Mount on July 15-17.
We’ll be producing “Red Talks: Presented by Confessions of a Mensturator” on October 8.
I’ll also be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at Copper Beech Institute on October 28-30.
Our annual Voices of Hope show is scheduled for November 6.
We’ll be scheduling additional shows soon. Venues are ready, willing, and anxious for us to return.
22. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I pitched to a total of five TEDx conferences back in April.
One has passed on my pitch. Awaiting word from the other four.
I also spoke at TEDxCornell in April. Video will be available in a couple months.
I’ve also helped three clients get accepted to TEDx conference this year.
23. Attend at least 6 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
Done! I competed in a Moth GrandSLAM in NYC in May.
Six Moth events so far in 2022.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! I won the February StorySLAM in New York.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
Done! I won two!
I won Boston’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Wilbur on April 26.
I won New York City’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Williamsburg on May 16.
It was my eighth and ninth GrandSLAM championships.
26. Produce at least 12 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Recording was going to commence in February and March. The recording of the audiobook of “Someday Is Today” instead replaced our podcasting time for a while.
Recording was going to commence in April and then in May, but recording for other things filled that time.
June? We’ll record in June? I hope…
27. Convert my YouTube channel into an actual channel.
Progress! My production manager has begun to structure and re-design the channel, and I’ve been accumulating content for release. I’m also been curating the content, removing material that is no longer relevant.
Almost ready to declare this goal complete.
28. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2022.
I have a list of open mics that are currently running in Connecticut. More than enough to resume. This will likely be a summer goal.
29. Pitch a story to This American Life.
Done! I pitched one story to This American Life in April.
30. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
One pitch made in May. The second in 2022.
No response.
31. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
Three newsletters sent in May. A total of 13 sent so far in 2022. Ahead of schedule.
HOME
32. Clear the basement.
The job is about 80% complete. Huge progress. The basement is officially organized. I need to eliminate many, many things from the basement now, which may require a dumpster. Or perhaps simply placing them on the front yard and waiting for folks to take them.
Summertime chore.
The finishing of the basement might increase the urgency of this project.
33. Organize the children’s books.
Books have been removed from the kids’ bedrooms and remain divided into three bins:
- Keep in rotation for kids/students
- Store for future grandchildren (now stored in the basement)
- Give away to those in need
I’ve been slowly emptying the giveaway bin. Progress remains solid.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
34. Text or call brother or sister once per month.
Done.
35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
No photos taken of just Elysha and me in 2022
I’m still a giant failure, particularly given that Elysha is so damn pretty.
37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
38. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2022 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. Someone mentioned on social media this week that they’ve also adopted this policy.
39. Compliment one person every day on a topic unrelated to physical appearance.
This turns out to be easier than I thought, at least as long as I’m teaching. I constantly give my students positive feedback, and I compliment my own children and Elysha quite a bit.
In addition to complimenting my students and family, I also complimented two colleagues, the parents of two students, two clients, a baseball coach, a neighbor, and many storytellers at the Moth GrandSLAM.
Once summer comes and I’m not seeing students 5 days a week, I’ll need to be more purposeful with this goal
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2022.
Done!
One surprise in May:
Flowers sent to Elysha on May 10, which is Mother’s Day in Mexico.
She deserved a second Mother’s Day.
Surprises in 2022 also include:
- A well timed Starbucks caramel macchiato
- The latest Pusheen Club box, filled with an assortment of movie-themed Pusheen gifts.
- A complete set of Smith College china
- A card on her dashboard following a less than ideal April vacation.
- A surprise visit to her classroom on an especially challenging day to bring her a cupcake.
- A card mailed to her school with thoughts of encouragement and love, written by “The Universe.”
- A planned weekend getaway (later this summer) for her and a friend to Water’s Edge, a resort and spa on the coast of Connecticut.
That’s eight surprises so far in 2022.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2022.
Two games in total in 2022. I was invited to another game in Boston but could not make it.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No progress.
NEW PROJECTS
43. Create an emergency preparedness kit for each car.
No progress.
44. Memorize the lyrics to at least 5 favorite songs.
I’ve officially learned the words to “Fat Bottomed Girls.” I’m close to locking in “Come On Eileen.”
I’m now working on “Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.
45. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Another task passed off to my production manager, who has been working on it.
47. Memorize 5 new poems.
I considered memorizing “Casey at the Bat” or “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” and I may still try one or both, but they are long, and I wanted one a little shorter to start, so I’m still working on “I’m Nobody! Who Are You?” by Emily Dickinson.
I also made a list of poems that I’ve committed to memory, to ensure they remain committed to memory through occasional practice.
48. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
49. Understand Instagram better.
Progress! My intern and I has a conversation, where she taught me about Instagram Stories and Reels. Huzzah!
I suspect that there is more to know, but who better to teach me than a high school senior?
50. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I started plotting the completion of this task in February. I’m considering moving the project from Blackstone, MA to something more local, but I’m still working on it.
A recent blog post on this subject garnered me many willing volunteers.
51. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.