PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
This goal is more precarious now than ever before. But in response, we are now living in near-quarantine. On the rare occasion when I purchase food from the store, we place it in the garage for 3-5 days before washing and moving into the house, and I am nearly robotic in the grocery store, armed with Lysol wipes, hand sanitizer, and vigilance beyond compare.
Living with undiagnosed, untreated PTSD for decades turns out to be outstanding training when facing an invisible, deadly enemy. I’ve been engaged in a similar mental battle with forces beyond my control for most of my life.
I’m not messing around.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Done! I lost seven more pounds in March for a total of 20 pounds in 2020.
Elysha told me not to mention this, since I know there is a lot of stress baking and stress eating going on right now, but I acknowledge all of my failures, of which there are many, so I get to acknowledge my successes, too.
Credit my rapid weight loss not to any crash diet or insane exercise regime, but instead to a few, simple switches in my life:
Avoidance of all vending machines
Zero candy bars in 2020
One cheeseburger per week
Healthy, low calorie lunches of oatmeal, fruit, and soup
Increased level of intensity while exercising, first at the gym and now during my daily bike rides
Identification of low calorie, much loved snacks
That’s it. Simple switches like boosting effort during the exercise I was already doing, avoiding high calorie foods that don’t fill you up, and finding the right snacks.
Simple switches. I believe in this strategy.
My job now is to maintain the 20 pound weight loss and lose another 20 pounds, which would bring me down to my high school pole vaulting weight.
Maybe unrealistic, but I lost 20 pounds in three months without much effort, so another 20 pounds in 9 months feels doable.
3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.
Done! Now that I’m eating all of my meals at home, this has become simple automatic. Tons of fruits and vegetables. A silver lining in this nightmare scenario.
4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done.
Also, after learning about a 62 year-old man setting the new world record for a plank at more than 8 hours, I’ve begun extending my plank time. I did one 6-minute plank in February, and I’m doing 2-minute planks now regularly.
I had hoped to do a 10-minute plank by the end of March, but I’m not even close.
Unable to go to the gym anymore, I’ve also rediscovered my bike. I’m riding about 10 miles a day now, having only missed one day because of weather in the last two weeks.
I really love it. A lot. Another silver lining.
5. Set a new personal best in golf.
The golf courses were not open in March, both because of the weather and the pandemic.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2020.
I met with my new editor, Alice, in February to confirm that she doesn’t think the next idea for my new novel is stupid, and she doesn’t. She seems to like it quite a bit, so it’s full steam ahead.
Also, I’m working on revising my first middle grade novel, too, so between my adult novel and my middle grade novel, I’m feeling good about finishing at least one of these books in 2020.
7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
No progress. But it’s about time I get started.
8. Write a memoir.
Writing continues. Rather slowly.
9. Write a new screenplay.
This goal has transitioned into a musical (sort of a screenplay) that I am now writing and will perform with my friend, Kaia, despite the fact that I cannot sing.
This should be interesting.
10. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
Two pieces submitted in March. The first two pieces submitted so far in 2020.
Neither was accepted, but one was later accepted by the Hartford Courant and ran in the Op-Ed section on March 28.
11. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
None submitted in March. None submitted in 2020.
12. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
I’ve identified a behavior to try:
I’m going to read 50 Shades of Gray. I’ve always assumed that it’s a terrible book, but at a recent party, I listened to friends disparage this book (despite having never read it), which automatically made me want to defend the book based upon its commercial success and their hints of literary elitism.
I also have an oppositional disposition, so I almost instinctually take the opposing viewpoint in many situations. I’m a joy to be around.
I’ll start reading after I’m done with Elton John’s memoir.
Another behavior I’m considering:
Engaging in the weirdness of ASMR, but it might just be too stupid to try.
13. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 5,000.
I added 57 subscribers in February for a total of 4,181.
I need to pick up the pace.
If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:
14. Write at least six letters to my father.
Three letters written to my father in March. Four written in total in 2020.
Also, my father wrote back to me this week. A much-needed bit of joy in the midst of these long, hard days.
15. Write 100 letters in 2020.
Eleven letters written in March, including my first letter of condolence to the family member of a COVID-19 victim.
Sadly, there will probably be more to come.
I also wrote letters to three grocery stores, one pharmacy, and my insurance company, thanking their employees for continuing to work through this time.
A total of 15 so far n 2020.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress.
17. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”
The podcast is nearly complete. Episodes with my editor, the cover designer, and more are ready to go. I need to record the first episode with Elysha and finish editing the last one and it will be ready to launch.
I may wait to launch the podcast in conjunction with the paperback release of my novel.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.
The cancellation of all shows through May and probably beyond will make this goal difficult to achieve. So far we have produced four shows in 2020. Zero shows in March.
On a side note, I’ve been performing in online storytelling shows in Boston, Australia, and Costa Rica, and New York, and I have an online solo show planned for April.
At some point we may begin producing our own online Speak Up shows, too, but we’re waiting a bit to allow people to get their footing in our new, albeit temporary existence.
19. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
I pitched myself to three TEDx events in March (and three so far in 2020):
TEDx Salem State University, TEDx Hartford, and TEDx Yale.
No word on any of them yet.
I also helped two clients get accepted to speak in TEDx events in 2020 ands 2021.
I was supposed to be speaking at a TEDx event in the Berkshires in April, but that event has been rescheduled for later in the year.
20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended two Moth StorySLAMs in March and told a story in one, winning that slam. Three events so far in 2020.
Given that all Moth events have been cancelled in the foreseeable future, this goal is going to be much more challenging now.
21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.
I won a Moth StorySLAM in March at Oberon in Boston. It was my first win in 2020 and my 48th Moth StorySLAM victory in all.
Given that all Moth events have been cancelled in the foreseeable future, this goal is going to be much more challenging now.
22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I completed in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in February and finished in second place.
Given that all Moth events have been cancelled in the foreseeable future, this goal is going to be much more challenging now.
23. Produce at least 40 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Elysha and I produced three new episodes in March (plus one rebroadcast).
A total of 11 new episodes in 2020.
Our latest dropped on Wednesday! Subscribe today!
24. Begin providing transcriptions of each episode of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
No progress.
25. Explore the monetization of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
DONE!
Our Patreon page is up and running, and so far 7 people have been kind enough to commit to a monthly contribution. In exchange for their commitment, they will be receiving bonus content on the Patreon page, including bonus episodes, additional workshop opportunities, and more.
Our first bit of bonus content – a conversation with storyteller Jeni Bonaldo – drops this week.
If you’d like to become a patron and support the work we do at Speak Up, click here.
26. Perform stand up at least six times in 2020.
No performances in March and no performances in 2020.
Given the nature of the world, this goal is going to be much harder now.
27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
No stories pitched in March. No stories pitched in 2020.
28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
I sent a pitch to Marc and his producer back in February. One so far in 2020.
29. Produce at least one new video for my YouTube channel each month.
I posted four new videos in March consisting of the free storytelling workshops that I am conducting on Facebook Live. Every Wednesday at 3:00 EST. I then post the recordings of these sessions to my YouTube channel.
Six new videos in total in 2020.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel here.
30. Find a means of producing my storytelling instruction for an online platform.
I’ll be partnering with MOPCO Improv Theater on April 18 for an online storytelling workshop, and I’m developing a 6-week online workshop for storytellers, too. Ultimately I want to develop asynchronous offerings using recorded instruction, but this is an excellent start.
HOME
31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.
Art has arrived. The devices needed for hanging the art has arrived. Frankly, this is Elysha’s job now, but I’m confident that t will be done soon and well.
32. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
Windows are purchased and ready to be installed. Unfortunately the pandemic is preventing new construction jobs from being started, so it may be a while before our windows are installed.
But we are oh so close…
33. Clear the basement.
I’ve been taking advantage of my town’s free bulk pickup each week. Progress is slow but steady.
Incrementalism, people. Some jobs are best done through consistency and vigilance. Small progress results in big returns.
34. Refinish the hardwood floors.
This might be a problem. Hardwood floors require at least a few days to be completed, and we have cats. The cats will absolutely not stay with anyone else while the floors are being done, so what the hell are we going to do?
35. Purchase a new television.
Done! It’s large and beautiful and professionally mounted to the wall. THANK GOODNESS we did this early in the year. Our new couch, chair, television, and streaming services have been invaluable during this period of social distancing.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
I missed 0 days in March. I missed 12 days in 2020. Social distancing makes this job much easier.
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
I missed two of the four weeks in March. I am simply not someone who ever thinks to take a selfie (defined as a photo of yourself, taken by yourself), so taking a photo of myself with someone else is also not instinctual.
I find the explosion of selfies in this world very disturbing.
But I’ll need to find a way to do better, because I want more photos of Elysha and myself.
38. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2020.
Done! I made 14 meals for the family in March alone, plus the one cooked in February. I prepared three Hello Fresh meals. Cooked a ham. Made a pasta dish. Made egg sandwiches and omelettes for breakfast.
This pandemic has done wonders for cooking skills.
39. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2020.
Two rides with Charlie and Clara in March.
40. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
41. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done.
42. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2020.
I bought tickets to Mike Birbiglia’s appearance in New Haven in May, hoping to surprise Elysha, but that surprise now seems unlikely.
So do I count that ruined surprise as a surprised?
I also sent Elysha a bouquet of flowers to her workplace on her birthday in January.
One or two surprises so far, depending on how I decide to credit myself.
43. Play poker at least six times in 2020.
My friends and I used a combination of a poker app, Zoom, and Venmo to spend an evening playing poker on a Saturday night.
Two games played so far in 2020.
44. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No progress. We were supposed to working as DJ’s at two weddings in April, but they were both rescheduled for the fall.
NEW PROJECTS
45. Understand Instagram better.
No progress. But a former student has offered to help.
46. Listen to new music via the Billboard Hot 100 Spotify playlist at least four times per month.
Done! We are listening to a lot of music right now.
I’m especially enjoying Billie Eilish, The Weekend (what a stupid name) and the new Lady Gaga song.
47. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.
No progress.
48. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
No progress.
49. Scan and send photos of Laura to her daughters.
No progress.
50. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
