At the end of each month, I report on the progress of my New Year’s resolutions (or lack thereof).
Here are the result through the end of April.
PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Tougher these days than most, but I’m still kicking.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Still done! I lost 20 pounds by the end of March, and I managed to maintain the loss through the month of April, despite my wife’s nearly daily baking of bread and cooking of delicious meals.
Credit my rapid weight loss not to any crash diet or insane exercise regime, but instead to a few, simple switches in my life:
- Avoidance of all vending machines (a lot easier now)
- Zero candy bars in 2020
- One cheeseburger per week
- Healthy, low calorie lunches of oatmeal, fruit, and soup
- Identification of low calorie, much loved snacks
When the gym closed, I also pulled the bike out of the garage and started riding. I’m riding 10-15 miles per day now, rain or shine. I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner. I’ll be biking long after COVID-19 is the thing of the past.
Oh, and jumping jacks. I do a lot of jumping jacks. They are easy, burn calories, and make me feel good.
That’s it. Simple switches like boosting effort during the exercise I was already doing, avoiding high calorie foods that don’t fill you up, and finding the right snacks.
Simple switches. I believe in this strategy.
My job now is to maintain the 20 pound weight loss and lose another 20 pounds, which would bring me down to my high school pole vaulting weight.
Maybe unrealistic, but I lost 20 pounds in three months without much effort, so another 20 pounds in 8 months feels doable.
3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.
Done! Crushing this. I’m eating more fruits and vegetables than ever before.
Pandemic silver lining.
4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done. When you teach from home, this gets a lot easier. Five minutes to kill between calls? Do three sets of push-ups.
Also, after learning about a 62 year-old man setting the new world record for a plank at more than 8 hours, I’ve begun extending my plank time. I did one 6-minute plank in February, and I’m doing 2-minute planks now regularly.
I had hoped to do a 10-minute plank by the end of March. One month later and I’m still not even close.
5. Set a new personal best in golf.
I played golf twice in April. It’s a game designed for social distancing, especially when you play as poorly as me.
I parred three holes during my first round of nine holes but finished with a 50 thanks to a couple atrocious holes.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2020.
I met with my new editor, Alice, in February to confirm that she doesn’t think the next idea for my new novel is stupid, and she doesn’t. She seems to like it quite a bit, so it’s full steam ahead.
I was also working on revising my first middle grade novel, but my editor was recently laid off, meaning this book will now be handed off to a third editor and probably delayed.
7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
No progress.
8. Write a memoir.
Writing continues at a glacial pace.
9. Write a new screenplay.
This goal has transitioned into a musical (sort of a screenplay) that I am now writing and will perform with my friend, Kaia, despite the fact that I cannot sing.
We have encountered unexpected and unavoidable delays, but we are getting back on track now.
10. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
Two more pieces submitted in April for a total of five in 2020.
None were accepted, but one was later accepted by the Hartford Courant and ran in the Op-Ed section in March.
11. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
None submitted in 2020.
12. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
I’ve identified a behavior to try:
I’m going to read 50 Shades of Gray. I’ve always assumed that it’s a terrible book, but at a recent party, I listened to friends disparage this book (despite having never read it), which automatically made me want to defend the book based upon its commercial success and their hints of literary elitism.
I also have an oppositional disposition, so I almost instinctually take the opposing viewpoint in many situations. I’m a joy to be around
Another behavior I’m considering:
Engaging in the weirdness of ASMR, but it might just be too stupid to try.
13. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 5,000.
I added 44 subscribers in April for a total of 4,225.
I need to pick up the pace.
If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here.
14. Write at least six letters to my father.
No new letters written in April. Four written in total in 2020.
15. Write 100 letters in 2020.
Just two letters written in April.
A total of 17 so far in 2020.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress.
17. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”
The podcast is nearly complete. Episodes with my editor, the cover designer, and more are ready to go. I need to record the first episode with Elysha and finish editing the last one and it will be ready to launch.
I may wait to launch the podcast in conjunction with the paperback release of my novel.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.
This goal has become much more challenging to accomplish, but I haven’t given up.
Elysha and I produced a virtual solo show back in April in collaboration with MOPCO Improv Theater, bringing our total number of shows in 2020 to five.
We plan on producing a more traditional Speak Up shows online, too, but probably next month when our teaching schedules wind down for the summer.
19. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
I pitched myself to three TEDx events in 2020 thus far:
TEDx Salem State University, TEDx Hartford, and TEDx Yale.
No word on any of them yet, but I suspect that at least some will be cancelled.
I also helped two clients get accepted to speak in TEDx events in 2020 ands 2021.
I was supposed to be speaking at a TEDx event in the Berkshires in April, but that event has been rescheduled for later in the year.
20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended The Moth’s first virtual Mainstage performance in April.
Four events so far in 2020.
Given that all Moth live events have been cancelled in the foreseeable future, this goal is going to be much more challenging now.
21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.
I won a Moth StorySLAM in March at Oberon in Boston. It was my first win in 2020 and my 48th Moth StorySLAM victory in all.
Given that all Moth events have been cancelled in the foreseeable future, this goal is going to be much more challenging now.
22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I completed in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in February and finished in second place.
Given that all Moth events have been cancelled in the foreseeable future, this goal is going to be much more challenging now.
23. Produce at least 40 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Elysha and I produced four new episodes in April.
A total of 15 new episodes in 2020.
24. Begin providing transcriptions of each episode of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
No progress.
25. Explore the monetization of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
DONE!
Our Patreon page is up and running, and so far 14 people have been kind enough to commit to a monthly contribution. In exchange for their commitment, they are receiving bonus content on the Patreon page, including interviews with storytellers, instruction material, and more.
Our first bonus content includes conversations with storytellers Jeni Bonaldo and Devin Sandiford.
If you’d like to become a patron and support the work we do at Speak Up, click here.
26. Perform stand up at least six times in 2020.
No performances in April and no performances in 2020.
Given the nature of the world, this goal is going to be much harder now.
27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
No stories pitched in April. No stories pitched in 2020.
28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
I sent a pitch to Marc and his producer in April. It was a good one. Two so far in 2020.
29. Produce at least one new video for my YouTube channel each month.
I posted two new instructional videos plus a brand new story in April.
The instructional videos are recordings of free storytelling workshops that I am conducting on Facebook Live every Wednesday at 3:00 EST. I post the recordings of these sessions to my YouTube channel.
The new story comes from a Moth StorySLAM victory in Seattle from last summer.
Eleven new videos in total in 2020.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel here.
30. Find a means of producing my storytelling instruction for an online platform.
I taught an online storytelling workshop in April to about 70 people from 17 different states and 8 different countries in partnership with MOPCO Improv theater.
I’m also in the midst of teaching a six-week storytelling workshop to six storytellers in Seattle, Chicago, Massachusetts, Georgia, and Singapore.
Ultimately I want to develop asynchronous offerings using recorded instruction, but this is an excellent start.
HOME
31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.
Art has arrived. The devices needed for hanging the art has arrived. Frankly, this is Elysha’s job now, but I’m confident that it will be done soon and well.
32. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
Windows are purchased and ready to be installed. Unfortunately the pandemic is preventing new construction jobs from being started, so it may be a while before our windows are installed.
So the windows sit in a warehouse, waiting for the day when they can be installed…
33. Clear the basement.
I’ve been taking advantage of my town’s free bulk pickup each week. Progress is slow but steady.
Incrementalism, people. Some jobs are best done through consistency and vigilance.
34. Refinish the hardwood floors.
This might be a problem. Hardwood floors require at least a few days to be completed, and we have cats. The cats will absolutely not stay with anyone else while the floors are being done, so what the hell are we going to do?
Also, the coronavirus might make this impossible in 2020.
35. Purchase a new television.
Done! It’s large and beautiful and professionally mounted to the wall.
THANK GOODNESS we did this early in the year. Our new couch, chair, television, and streaming services have been invaluable during this period of social distancing.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
I missed zero days in April. I’ve missed 12 days in 2020. Social distancing makes this job much easier.
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
I missed three of the four weeks in April. I am simply not someone who ever thinks to take a selfie (defined as a photo of yourself, taken by yourself), so taking a photo of myself with someone else is also not instinctual.
I find the explosion of selfies in this world very disturbing.
But I’ll need to find a way to do better, because I want more photos of Elysha and myself.
38. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2020.
Done! I stopped counting at 25 meals.
This pandemic has done wonders for cooking skills.
39. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2020.
Eight rides with Charlie and Clara in April. Ten in all.
40. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress. This is probably impossible now.
41. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. I’m not seeing many people these days, so this has gotten even easier.
42. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2020.
I surprised Elysha with a lap/standing desk in April. Sitting on couches and beds and stools and chairs all day has been hard on her back, so this has been very helpful.
Other surprises thus far:
- I bought tickets to Mike Birbiglia’s appearance in New Haven in May, hoping to surprise Elysha, but that surprise now seems unlikely.
- I also sent Elysha a bouquet of flowers to her workplace on her birthday in January.
Three surprises so far in 2020o.
43. Play poker at least six times in 2020.
My friends and I used a combination of a poker app, Zoom, and Venmo to spend an evening playing poker two more times in April.
Four games played so far in 2020.
44. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No progress. We were supposed to working as DJ’s at two weddings in April, but they were both rescheduled for the fall. We planned on going for a walk together, but that has also been postponed due to social distancing.
NEW PROJECTS
45. Understand Instagram better.
No progress. But a former student has offered to help.
46. Listen to new music via the Billboard Hot 100 Spotify playlist at least four times per month.
Done! We are listening to a lot of music right now. Not a lot of guitar and drums on the Hot 100 right now.
47. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.
No progress.
48. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
No progress.
49. Scan and send photos of Laura to her daughters.
No progress.
50. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
