Every Christmas, I take inventory of the holiday gifts that my wife, Elysha, gives me.
Some people wish for cashmere sweaters, the latest gadgets, stylish watches, and jewelry. My hope is often for the least pretentious, most unexpected, most nostalgic, quirkiest, most utilitarian little gifts possible, and Elysha never fails to deliver.
When it comes to gift-giving, Elysha is brilliant. More than the gifts themselves, her choices tell me that she knows me.
She sees me more clearly than anyone else in my life.
For the past 15 years, I’ve been documenting the gifts she’s given me on Christmas because they are so damn good. Also, it’s an excellent way to recall Christmases of the past.
Every year has been as good as the last, if not better. Her previous gifts have included a signed first-edition copy of a Kurt Vonnegut novel, commissioned paintings of my Boy Scout camp, my grandparents’ farmhouse, my childhood home, my dog, a shelf containing my books, and several others that mean a great deal to me.
I’ve also received smaller, equally brilliant gifts like a Viewmaster Viewer with family photos, my very own Dundee Award, and schadenfreude mints (“As delicious as other people’s misery”).
Lots and lots more.
She never fails to deliver, including this year:
- An incredible handcrafted box containing all the books that have meant something to me in my life, including my own books, the first book I ever borrowed from a library, the books from which our kids were named, playbills that hold deep meaning for me, and more. Plus, tiny Diet Coke cans she ordered separately and sent to the artist for inclusion.It’s beautiful and precious and perfect. I will love it forever.
- A replica of an old tube TV with an animated Christmas scene inside. I saw these in a Christmas shop in Quebec City, but didn’t buy one even though I loved them. Four months later, Elysha had one under the tree for me.
- A mug — a terrible gift for a man who has never tasted coffee or tea in his life — except this one has images of cassette tapes from my youth, including bands like Poison, Tesla, Faster Pussycat, Extreme, Dokken, and more. Whoever designed this clearly lived my teenage years alongside me.
- Books about vulgarity and Shakespeare
- A pen designed for left hander
- Sneakers that I can wear on the street and new slippers to replace the old ones
- A tiny, bluetooth bom box
- Amusing toys for use at school
My wife is a brilliant gift-giver.
s
