Every Christmas, I take inventory of the holiday gifts that my wife, Elysha, gives me.
Some people wish for cashmere sweaters, the latest gadgets, stylish watches, and jewelry. My hope is often for the least pretentious, most unexpected, most nostalgic, quirkiest, most utilitarian little gifts possible, and Elysha never fails to deliver.
When it comes to gift-giving, Elysha is brilliant. More than the gifts themselves, her choices tell me that she knows me.
She sees me more clearly than any other person in my life.
For the past 14 years, I’ve been documenting the gifts she’s given me on Christmas because they are so damn good. Also, it’s an excellent way to recall Christmases of the past.
Every year has been as good as the last, if not better. Her previous gifts have included a signed, first edition copy of a Kurt Vonnegut novel, commissioned paintings of my Boy Scout camp, my grandparents’ farmhouse, my childhood home, my dog, and a shelf containing my books and several other books that mean a great deal to me.
I’ve also received smaller, equally brilliant gifts like a Viewmaster Viewer with family photos, my very own Dundee Award, and schadenfreude mints (“As delicious as other people’s misery”).
Lots and lots more.
She never fails to deliver, including this year.
The best gift of all for 2024 was a commissioned painting titled “Together is the Best Place” that features important landmarks in our relationship, including the locations of our first date, our engagement, our wedding, our honeymoon, and our first two apartments and the home we’ve live in for the last 15 years.
Cleverly designed, it also features mile markers indicating the distances from Connecticut to some out-of-state landmarks (Bermuda and Grand Central Station) and other smaller elements that mean so much to me.
It’s beautiful. Everything I love in a gift:
Unexpected. Nostalgic. Awash in stories and memories. The kind of thing our children will want someday.
Added to this thing of beauty are some other gems, including:
- Vintage unopened trading card packs featuring The Simpsons, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Mad magazine
- Hand-painted Christmas ornaments of the five pets we’ve owned together.
- A vintage Skid Row keychain
- A Shrute Farms Irrigation Room keychain
- A small device that makes the sad trombone sound
- Pens with embarrassing logos designed to lend out to unsuspecting victims
- New shoes
- A Shakespeare-themed calendar
- The newest Kate Dicmaillo novel
- “The Twelve Terrors of Christmas” by John Updike (illustrated by Edward Gorey)
- A combination dart board golf game
- A pad of “pep talk” notes
This year was pretty fantastic.
