My 2023 Christmas haul

By mattyd | December 25, 2023 |

Every Christmas, I take inventory of the holiday gifts that my wife, Elysha, gives me.

Some people wish for cashmere sweaters, the latest gadget, stylish watches, and jewelry. My hope is often for the least pretentious, most unexpected, most nostalgic, quirkiest, most utilitarian little gifts possible, and Elysha never fails to deliver.

When it comes to gift-giving, Elysha is brilliant. More than the gifts themselves, her choices tell me that she knows me.

She sees me more clearly than any other person in my life.

For the past 13 years, I’ve been documenting that inventory of gifts that she has given me on Christmas because they are so damn good. Every year has been as good as the last, if not better.

2009 included a signed edition of a Kurt Vonnegut novel
2010 included a Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure pin
2011 included my often-used Mr. T in a Pocket
2012 included my fabulous No button
2013 included a remote-controlled helicopter
2014 included an “I Told You So” pad
2015 included schadenfreude mints: “As delicious as other people’s misery”
2016 included a commissioned painting of the map of my childhood Boy Scout camp
2017 included a commissioned painting of my grandparent’s farmhouse
2018 included a Viewmaster Viewer with photos of the family
2019 included a fantastic cord organizer
2020 included an artist’s rendering of all seven of my books, plus the books from which we derived our children’s names, the first gift Elysha ever gave me (a book), and a couple of my favorite books of all time.
2021 included a paddleboard, complete with a waterproof bluetooth speaker and waterproof iPhone case
2022 included my own Dundie Award