Fred Rogers created a list of “50 Ways to Meet Your Neighbor.”
It’s weird.
I love Mr. Rogers. I would’ve made him immortal if possible. But this list is a little ridiculous.
First, it’s clear right from the start that Fred was looking to stretch it to 50 items. Items 4 and 5, for example, are:
4. Leave your neighbor a sweet treat with a sweet note.
5. Leave your neighbor a savory treat with a sweet note.
That could’ve simply said, Leave your neighbor a treat,” and not seemed so odd
So a bunch of the items are fairly repetitive.
He’s also oddly in favor of subterfuge. For example, #9 proposes that you take one of your own gloves over to the neighbor’s house and say, “Hey, did you lose this glove?”
Imagine if the neighbor said yes?
Or #11, which suggests the opposite:
“Ask them to help you find something you’ve lost. Preferably something real.”
But apparently, Fred thinks faking a lost object would be fine, too.
Weird. Right?
Actually, the subterfuge suggested in #13 is even stranger:
“Compliment them. Try to be sincere, but you can also make something up.”
Mr. Rogers — paragon of virtue — is suggesting lying to your neighbor. It’s weird. Can a person really not find a single thing to compliment?
Or #21, which says, “Comment on people if they’re cool or adorable.”
Can you imagine walking across the street and telling your neighbor that they’re adorable?
Fred… what were you thinking?
He also suggests commenting on the weather, complaining about several different things, and talking politics.
I would advise against all of these things. The weather is a boring topic of conversation. Complaining makes you a complainer, and no one likes a complainer, and talking politics is a good way to make your neighbor despise you.
Feed Rogers was my hero. He was a brilliant, kind, and generous man, but this list is strange.
FIFTY WAYS TO MEET YOUR NEIGHBORS
1. Say “Hi.” “Good morning,” “Good afternoon,” and “Good evening” also work.
2. Introduce yourself. You can say something like, “Hi, I’m your neighbor [insert your name].”
3. Leave your neighbor a sweet note.
4. Leave your neighbor a sweet treat with a sweet note.
5. Leave your neighbor a savory treat with a sweet note.
6. Ask them for something. A cup of sugar is a classic ask and is also good for making sweet treats.
7. Share something. Did you “accidentally” buy too many sweet treats?
8. Ask if they want to share something with you. For example, have you always wanted a weekly veggie box subscription but can’t eat all the…kohlrabi?
9. Find something random and ask if it is something they lost. That lonely winter glove you keep around for no good reason works as an excellent prop.
10. Find something that they’ve actually lost. (See missing cat, dog, and occasionally parakeet posters.)
11. Ask them to help you find something you’ve lost. Preferably something real, in case they find something (cat, dog, or parakeet) that you might not want.
12. Help carry groceries. This is just a nice thing to do.
13. Compliment them. Try to be sincere, but you can also make something up.
14. Specifically, compliment something that they take care of, like a child, pet, or car.
15. Ask for a recommendation.
16. Compliment them + ask for a recommendation. For example, “Where did you get your haircut? It looks great!”
17. Ask them to share knowledge or provide instruction.
18. Compliment them + ask for knowledge or instruction. For example, “Your windows sparkle. How do you get them so clean?” works on homes AND cars.
19. Share knowledge. Know how to change a bike tire? Offer your services and a do-it-yourself lesson.
20. Comment on the weather, especially if it is different or extreme. (Not recommended for commenting on people.)
21. Comment on people if they’re cool or adorable.
22. Complain about something. (List of beginner-level common enemies: city services, streets, traffic, weather, and natural disasters)
23. Identify a problem in common. Potholes? Flickering streetlights? Crumbling sidewalks? Unleash the power of collective action on your block.
24. Identify a common political issue that affects your neighbors. Door-knock to talk about it or to propose action. Clipboards make it official.
25. Invite them to [in order of escalating politicization]: Tea
26. Coffee
27. Book Club
28. Show (This is more likely to work if you are or know the band.)
29. Volunteer Event
30. Political Meeting
31. Organize a group activity. Perhaps a local library or community center has something that will fit. Picking up trash in a park or high-use area is a good go-to.
32. Picking up trash, generally, is a good way to meet neighbors. People notice.
33. Winter: Shovel someone’s sidewalk. It’s also great cardio.
34. Fall: Rake someone’s leaves. (I think we are not raking leaves anymore. Probably for the best, as this one is kind of weird.)
35. Summer: Take to the front/stoop/steps/porch/yard. This is your time to shine!
36. Sell lemonade. Or give it away. You can raise money for a neighborhood cause.
37. Sell stuff. Who doesn’t like to browse a bundle of miscellaneous stuff?
38. Buy stuff. Buying someone’s something at a garage sale is a great conversation starter.
39. Band together to sell everyone’s stuff. A neighborhood sidewalk sale is up there with a block party in terms of neighborhood meet-cutes.
40. Give things away for free. Free fridges, stores, and libraries are excellent, but anything useful in a box could get people to stop by.
41. Set up something fun for small people in the neighborhood to do. Sidewalk chalk art contests, water balloons, and bubble machines are great for getting the people-with-kids crowd out.
42. Set up something fun for everyone. Checkers and backgammon are stoop favorites, but I’ve known people to have success with yard and street games.
43. Share your space. Set up a garden plot/pot and invite people to plant, weed, work, and share. You might be surprised by how many herbs can grow in a bucket or two!
44. Share the fruits of your labor. Create your own veggie or flower stand for free or pay-as-you-can. Overachievers, share your seeds, eggs, and cuttings.
45. Collect the fruits of others’ labors. Ask for kitchen and yard scraps for your compost.
46. Set up a place where people can hang out. My neighbor has a bench at the edge of their front yard. It’s very welcoming.
47. Set up a place where people can hang out with snacks. My aunt’s neighbor sets up a spooky porch with hot cider (rum optional) every Friday evening in October before Halloween. I bet they know ALL of the neighbors.
48. Just hang out. Historically, this has met with great success. Some people call it loitering, and I bet those people are not good neighbors!
49. Just hang out — with food edition. Some call this a barbecue (“BBQ”).
50. Just hang out — with food and music edition. Some call this a party.
