I said nothing.

I’d like to point out that while waiting in line for a cashier at Stop & Shop yesterday, the man in front of me acted like a jerk and attempted to draw me into the conflict, and despite every atom in my body wanting to join the fray, I resisted.

Instead of waiting in the designated area, six feet apart from the other customers, for the next cashier to be ready, the man walked past the multitude of signs asking him to wait and stood behind another customer who was already placing items on the conveyor belt.

A Stop & Shop employee quickly asked the man to return to the queuing area until a cashier was ready, which caused the man to complain that he only had a few items and was keeping his distance from the other customer. The employee tried to explain that forming separate lines was not nearly as safe as a single, well spaced line, but the man continued to grumble.

Then the Stop & Shop employee became admirably assertive and demanded his immediate compliance.

As the man returned to the line, he turned to me and said, “Can you believe this?”

It was my cue.

I wanted to say something. I can’t tell you how much I desperately wanted to speak, and I knew all the right words to put this man into his place. I could have skewered this man with the perfect sentences to silence his selfishness and stupidity.

If he was fragile in any way, I might’ve been able to make him cry.

It’s my talent. I know how to use words to make people feel bad about being themselves.

But I restrained myself. In the midst of a pandemic, with employees trying to stay safe and keep their customers safe, I decided to avoid making a scene. I allowed his stupid, passive-aggressive question to go unanswered. I stared at him for a beat, trying to convey disgust through my mask, and then returned my gaze to the phone to text Elysha about my good decision, hoping her response would provide me with the strength I needed to continue resisting.

I did. I never said a word. I did the right thing.

And it’s still killing me.