In case you didn’t hear, a terrible crime has been perpetrated in Australia:
The theft of a Big Bird costume from the Sesame Street Circus Spectacular.
In fairness, the costume is valued at $160,000, so it’s a serious crime, but I bet the three people charged with the theft didn’t know the value of the costume when and if they stole it.
But $160,000 for a Big Bird costume?
Sounds inflated to me.
The three alleged criminal masterminds have been charged with an “aggravated count of dishonestly taking property without consent,” which is a very funny way to describe this crime, at least to these American ears.
It sounds like the way Big Bird might describe the crime.
But good news!
The bright yellow costume was returned to the Sesame Street Circus three days later. Officers found Big Bird propped up against an electrical box with a note stuffed in Big Bird’s beak that read:
“We are so sorry!!! We had no idea what we were doing, or what our actions would cause. We were just having a rough time and were trying to cheer ourselves up. We had a great time with Mr Bird. He’s a great guy and no harm came to our friend.
Sorry to be such a big birden!
The Big Bird Bandits.”
I might send them to prison simply for using three exclamation points.
As you might know, my friend, Bengi, and I stole a table full of children’s shoes (left-footed shoes, it turned out) when we were 19-years old (as well as the table itself) but returned the shoes (but not the table) a year later with a similar note, so I feel like I understand in inner workings of these alleged criminals.
I get them.
When the allegedly dishonest takers of property without consent left the courthouse, they were greeted by reporters who asked them why they had stolen the costume, why they had returned it, and “Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?”
Australian reporters are apparently not without a sense of humor.
The two men and one woman charged in the crime are also banned from attending the Sesame Street Circus because possible prison time was apparently just not enough for the Sesame Street overlords.
Also, I’d like to point out that Sesame Street has banned three people from their shows who are presumed innocent until proven guilty.
Or does the presumption of innocence not exist between Mr. Hooper’s store and Oscar’s trash can?
I’d also like to know how Sesame Street intends on enforcing this ban if a friend or family member purchases the tickets on behalf of the accused. Will they station Burt and Ernie at the entrances to the Sesame Street Circus with photos in hand?
I realize that dishonestly taking property without consent is a crime, and a $160,000 costume is not nothing (if it’s actually worth that much), but it’s refreshing when a crime can bring such joy to my life.