My wife was right. You were right. But I was a little right, too.
Yesterday I wrote about my recent decision to invent a word while in a debate with another person in order to determine his intelligence. My assumption was that if he…
Why brushing your teeth is important
Clara has given her grandfather credit for teaching her almost everything she knows. Last week she told me that Gramps taught her how to breathe. Seriously. Her teachers, her parents…
Six perfect words that killed me.
I was gone from 6:30 AM this morning until 6:30 PM this evening because of parent teacher conferences. It was a long day. It was also the third day in…
I say this is a clever verbal strategy for identifying stupidity. My wife says I’m mean and wrong. Settle the debate.
My wife says this is mean. I think it was brilliant. I was speaking to a person whose intelligence, at least in regards to the nature of our discussion, was…
Why nudity sucks and should be avoided at all costs
The ratio of risk-reward when it comes to nudity is similar to that of the risk-reward associated with a helium balloon and a toddler. While nudity sounds compelling, the actual…
My wife and children are ruining football for me.
I attended the Patriots game on Sunday. The weather was spectacular, the pregame tailgate menu was superb, and most important, the Patriots won. It was the first game in more…
Unfair assumption #6: If you have your own diamond guy, there is little chance that we could ever be friends.
A woman at a recent book event was complimented by another woman for the diamond necklace that she was wearing. She thanked the woman for the compliment, and her husband,…
Three reasons why helium balloons suck
First, there is a serious helium shortage in the world today, and helium is a crucial ingredient in MRI machines, wafer manufacturing, welding. Wasting this precious resource on party balloons…
Your North Face is a your coat, moron.
Could someone please explain to me how the brand name North Face has come to replace the word coat for some people? I hear adults and my students say things…
My toddler is a crack addict. Even worse, your Amber Alert system is still operating in 1997.
My wife and I took our daughter to a local grocery store on Saturday morning to register her for the Amber Alert program. In order to register a child for…
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