If you ever wanted to be a receptionist, perhaps you should think again.
This was an actual sign posted above the toilet in the men's room at my doctor's office. It sent shivers down my spine on behalf of receptionists everywhere.
If you have strong feelings about cargo shorts, then you are probably an infantile jackass.
I was surprised to see that a junior high newspaper editorial staff apparently took over The Wall Street Journal last week, publishing an infantile piece on cargo shorts in their…
My son meditates. Seriously. How did this happen?
I thought I heard Charlie calling me from his bedroom. It was about 6:30 AM, earlier than he usually wakes up, but not impossibly early for him. Charlie is four…
I was a muffin who believed in miracles.
This is going to sound ridiculous, I know. Forgive me. But when I was in jail, homeless, unemployed, parentless, awaiting trial for a crime I didn't commit, too poor to…
The Universal Comeback (I think)
I am a self-professed master of the verbal comeback. I once offered my services to Twitter followers. Follow me on Twitter, and if someone says something mean, insulting, scathing, or…
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
A reader once accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my salary,…
I spent a week backing into parking spots to see if it made any sense. Here is what I discovered.
Years ago, I worked with a woman who would back into a parking spot every morning when she arrived at work. It would often take her at least half a…
The Peter Principle: Understand it.
I know many people who are unhappy in their jobs. There was a time when they were happy, but then they ascended to a position that was both joyless and…
My children don’t understand the purpose or use of a sofa
I stepped into the room. They were both watching television. Like this. I'm raising a couple of lunatics.
The Moth: A Mop Sink and Maybe God
In March of 2016, I told the story of my interrogation and arrest for a crime I did not commit at a Moth GrandSLAM at The Somerville Theater. The theme…
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