I was sitting beside a woman at a prestigious university event.
Our tablemates included the university’s CFO, professors, and administrators.
I was going to deliver the keynote address, but before that, a box lunch was served.
I didn’t eat. I rarely do before speaking. But I watched as the woman beside me stripped her sandwich of lettuce and tomato and replaced it with potato chips.
She turned to me and said, “Forgive me. I have the tastebuds of a toddler.”
“No forgiveness needed,” I said.
In fact, I was impressed.
She was sitting amongst people at the university who outranked her. at a public event with more than 300 people, yet she had torn her sandwich apart and was now layering potato chips into it like I once did as a child.
The self-confidence required to do such a thing was astounding. Even if most people enjoyed a sandwich with ham, cheese, and potato chips, most would not be willing to create such an oddity in public. Rather than eating their preferred sandwich, most would conform to the expectations and norms at the table and save their potato chip combo for home.
I told the woman how impressed I was.
I told her how much self-confidence her culinary creation demonstrated.
I told her that most people would be more concerned about others’ thoughts than their food preferences.
Her response:
“Sad for them. Huh?”
Exactly.
People often ask me what kind of novels I write. The question is hard to answer since every book is different from the last. But if I were looking for a theme that runs through most of my books, it’s the idea that, as children, we’re told again and again to be ourselves, blaze our own trail, and never submit to peer pressure.
It’s a fine lesson in words, but when adults do this, they are often punished for their failure to conform.
I write about people who refuse to conform in a world that demands they do. I write about people who are brave enough to be themselves when the world doesn’t love who they are.
These are my heroes.
This woman fits the bill.
Noting impresses me more than someone doing what they want in a world filled with norms, expectations, and judgment.
