I spoke at a prep school in the Berkshires last week.
When I arrived, I stopped in the restroom just outside the theater. As I was washing my hands, five boys entered.
Teenagers. Large and loud.
They were already in the middle of a conversation. It went something like this:
“What is this stupid thing even going to be?”
“Probably a waste of our time.”
“Who’s this guy anyway? A storyteller? What a joke.”
“Going to be boring as hell.”
I listened and waited until the first boy joined me at the sink. He said to his friends, “These assemblies are so stupid!”
As he turned back toward the sink, I turned to him and said, “I heard the guy speaking tonight really sucks.”
The boy stared at me, then blinked, then said, “Wait. You’re the guy! I saw you in English class today! On YouTube! Two Jewish Dicks! You’re the guy speaking tonight!”
“Two Jewish Dicks” is the name of one of my stories. Elysha’s favorite, I think. Featured on YouTube.
“That’s me,” I said. “I hope I don’t suck.”
“No,” he said. “I mean, I hope so, too. I’m sure you won’t.”
It was the verbal equivalent of falling up the stairs.
I turned to leave when another boy from inside a stall shouted, “What did you say about a Jewish dick?”
I left the restroom and made my way to the theater.
About 15 minutes later, I saw the boys sitting side by side in the third row. I considered saying something to them, and to the entire audience in the process, but sometimes, a moment is so pristine that it should be left to stand on its own. Instead, I nodded, smiled, and began speaking.
Doing my thing.
High school kids can be a challenging audience at times, but I don’t think I sucked.
