Every month, I record my progress toward my yearly goals to hold myself accountable and, occasionally, seek help and advice from readers willing to offer insight, ideas, and solutions.
Here are my results from May 2026.
PERSONAL FITNESS/ATHLETICS
1. Don’t die.
Healthy and alive. A physical next month should tell me now.
2. Lose 10 pounds.
I lost 4 more pounds in May.
A total of 12 pounds lost in 2026 so far.
3. Do a targeted push-up workout at least three times per week.
Done.
4. Complete 100 sit-ups three times per week.
Done.
5. Cycle or ruck for at least five days every week.
I rode my indoor bike for 24 days in May.
I rode my outdoor bike five times in May.
I rode indoor bikes in hotels seven times in May.
I went rucking six times in May.
I also played eight rounds of golf — 9 holes each time — walking the course and carrying my bag, which isn’t part of my exercise regimen but should be counted. I’m walking about 3 miles and taking about 6,000 steps while carrying a 22-pound bag.
Crushed the month.
6. Try at least three new vegetables I have never eaten before or do not like.
No new vegetables in May.
I tried arugula and zucchini thus far.
Two vegetables down.
7. Average 2.1 putts per hole by the end of 2026.
Eight rounds of golf in May. I brought my average putts-per-hole down to 1.97.
My coach has informed me that professional golfers hope to putt 30 times per round, or 15 putts for 9 holes, for an average of 1.66 putts per round. That is likely not a realistic goal for me, though I have putted 16 times in a round four times this year, so the goal is attainable but probably not consistently.
8. Average 180 yards per drive by the end of 2026.
After eight rounds of golf in May, I am averaging 149.7 yards per drive. My longest drive was 190 yards, but I have plenty of drives decidedly shorter.
Not good.
WRITING CAREER
9. Complete my ninth novel.
Work continues.
10. Write, edit, and revise my golf memoir.
My friend is currently reading the manuscript to offer me advice. Revision will follow.
11. Write a proposal for my next storytelling book.
Done.
12. Write a proposal for my Substack memoir about the summer of 2007 that can be pitched to editors.
Done. I await word from my agent on next steps.
13. Exceed 100 paid subscribers to my Substack.
I lost one subscriber in May.
A total of 46 paid subscribers.
I haven’t done anything yet to promote the Substack, so the slow growth is not surprising. I also purchased an online class on paid newsletters that I had hoped to watch in May, but will realistically watch after school is done.
I have 4,464 unpaid subscribers, too. That’s an increase of 31 in May.
I’ve added one paid subscriber so far this year.
14. Read and process The Heavy Metal Playhouse notebook.
No progress.
15. Write my “Advice for Kids” book.
Progress continues. I’d like to think I’m close to being finished, but I keep adding new ideas.
16. Find an idea and begin writing my next middle-grade novel.
Done. The idea has been identified, and progress has begun.
17. Revise at least two of the picture books in my pile of unpublished picture books and prepare for submission.
No progress.
18. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
Lots of new ideas.
No writing yet.
19. Explore the possibilities for publishing “The Gimme Tree” — my satirical take on “The Giving Tree.”
After determining that no publisher wants my book, we have begun looking into self-publishing options.
20. Write about my childhood in partnership with my sister, Kelli, at least once per month.
No progress.
21. Write a new solo show.
Topic and story chosen. Work in my head has begun. Since I never write my shows on paper, this represents real work.
22. Submit at least three Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
A piece was published on the front page of the New York Times in February about backing into parking spots, for which I was interviewed and mentioned often.
I count this as one submission in 2026.
23. Write at least four letters to my father.
One letter was sent to my father in March.
One so far in 2026.
24. Write 150 letters.
I wrote 30 letters in May — to students, friends, clients, and colleagues.
A total of 92 letters have been written so far this year.
25. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
No progress. But last year, I wrote to the great George Saunders, and in April, he wrote back to me.
Solid guy.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
26. Record and publish at least 25 videos on my YouTube channel.
Done!
Four videos were published in May.
A total of 15 so far for 2026.
27. Record and produce at least one new Storyworthy course.
No progress.
28. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2026.
We produced our first show of 2026 on January 31 at the Connecticut Museum of Culture and History.
We produced our second show on May 9 at the Connecticut Museum of Culture and History.
Our next show, “Matt and Jeni Are Unprepared,” is scheduled on July 11 at the Merryall Center in New Milford, CT.
I’ve scheduled three more shows for the fall of 2026.
29. Submit pitches to at least three upcoming TEDx events, hoping to be accepted by one.
Done!
I submitted a pitch to TEDx Charleston, and it was accepted. I did that talk in April.
Huzzah.
30. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended two Moth StorySLAMs in May — both in Boston.
A total of 7 so far in 2026.
31. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Done!
I won a Moth StorySLAM in San Francisco, making it my fifth city to win a StorySLAM. Previous cities include New York, Boston, Seattle, and Washington, D.C.
32. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
No progress. I was forced to decline an invitation to a Boston GrandSLAM because I was already booked, so I await the next one.
33. Pitch “You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks” or “Shovel” or my new show to at least six theaters in 2026.
Done!
I pitched “Shovel” to nine theaters so far in 2026, including:
The Hartford Stage
The GoodSpeed Opera House
The Seven Angels Theater
Blackfriars Theatre
CenterStage Theatre at the JCC
The Focus Theater
The Duke at The Mercantile on Main
Arial Arena
JCC Ballroom
I’ll be submitting more in the coming weeks and months.
34. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast, Speak Up Storytelling.
No progress.
35. Perform stand-up at least six times.
I performed a stand-up in the library in Monterey, MA, on January 30.
I performed stand-up in Orlando, Florida, while stuck because of a snowstorm.
Two performances thus far in 2026.
36. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
HOME
37. Organize the basement.
No progress.
38. Replace the floor in my office.
We found a person who can do the job.
Step #1 complete.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
39. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
I texted with my sister in May.
40. Bring my brother, sister, and me together at least once in 2026.
No progress.
41. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
42. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
I took no photos of Elysha and me in May.
Three failed months in a row.
43. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
44. I will not comment positively or negatively on the physical appearance of anyone except my wife and children to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. Simple and automatic now.
45. Surprise Elysha at least 12 times.
I surprised Elysha (and the kids) by telling them about a mini-vacation I have planned for New York City in August. We’ll be seeing a concert and a Broadway show, visiting Roosevelt Island, the 9/11 Memorial, the Elevated Acre, and touring the backstage of a Broadway theater.
I also surprised Elysha by sending her flowers on the Friday before Mother’s Day.
I also surprised Elysha with three consecutive weekends of spa treatments as a Mother’s Day gift.
That makes 8 surprises so far in 2026.
The list:
- I sent flowers to Elysha at her school on her birthday.
- I personally delivered pastries to Elysha’s school for her team to share.
- I sent flowers to Elysha on Valentine’s Day.
- I planned a weekend getaway for August.
- I planned an anniversary surprise that couldn’t happen.
- I planned a surprise vacation to NYC.
- I sent flowers to Elysha on the Friday before Mother’s Day.
- I gifted three weekends of spa treatments for Mother’s Day
46. Play poker at least six times.
No games in May
Three poker games so far in 2026.
47. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No success in May.
MUSIC
48. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
No progress.
49. Practice the flute at least four times per week.
No progress.
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
50. Host at least one dinner party where I cook.
No progress.
51. Develop a course on self-confidence.
I plan to run a free six-week workshop on confidence in the fall.
52. Develop a list of strategies to help people deal with loneliness and produce it in some form.
No progress.
53. Read at least 12 books.
I read Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower and two of the three Griffin and Sabine books:
“Griffin & Sabine” and “Sabine’s Notebook.”
I’m currently reading “The Wind Through the Keyhole” by Stephen King — his late addition to the Dark Tower series.
I’m also reading “This Is Strategy” by Seth Godin and
I’ve read five books in 2026 thus far:
“Wizard and Glass” by Stephen King
“The Skyscraper Doom” by Norman Zierold
“The Dark Tower” by Stephen King
“Griffin and Sabine” by Nick Bantock
“Sabine’s Notebook” by Nick Bantock
54. Read “To the Lighthouse” by Virginia Woolf.
I purchased a beautiful copy of the book and have not touched it since.
55. Read “The Skyscraper Doom” by Norman Zierold.
Done!
I read the book — the first book I ever checked out of a library — on a plane to Charleston, South Carolina.
I had fond memories of that book from reading it circa 1982.
It did not hold up. Not even close.
56. Finish reading TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time.
No progress.
57. Edit our wedding footage into a movie of the day.
No progress.
58. Memorize three new poems.
I am memorizing “Oh me! Oh Life!” by Walt Whitman.
I’m also making a list of all the poems I have memorized so I can reinforce their memorization.
59. Explore the possibility of earning the rank of Eagle.
No progress.
60. Complete at least five Duolingo lessons every day.
Done. I far exceeded this goal, completing 386 lessons in May.
Perhaps my goal was a little silly and should have been more challenging.
61. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
