I’m a timely person.
I’m timely because I think it’s rude to be late.
Even worse, I think it’s despicable for a person to be consistently late. The consistently late are a selfish pack of uncivilized heathens who should pay higher taxes and be forbidden from ever celebrating Thanksgiving.
Consistently being late is also a sign that you suck at life. It’s perhaps the clearest sign of all.
If you’re a member of the consistently late clan, you should know that we all think this, and we despise you for it.
We may like or even love you, but we despise you, too, for your selfishness and inability to act like a decent human being.
TIME offers 9 Habits of People Who Are Always on Time. It’s a good list. I particularly like these suggestions:
- When it’s time to get up, they get up.
- They plan breakfast at dinner — meaning they tend to have their mornings laid out before they go to bed the night before.
- They recognize patterns and correct them, eliminating constant sources of delay.
- They’ve mastered the skill of calculation — meaning they know how long things take to complete and build accurate, useful schedules around that understanding.
If the last thing you do before leaving the house is prepare to leave, a single setback in your preparation can cause you to be late.
One item of clothing that unexpectedly needs ironing.
One wardrobe reconsideration.
One spill.
One hangnail.
One malfunctioning hairdryer.
One unavoidable phone call.
One screaming child.
If you plan to leave the house at 6:00, why not get ready to leave at 4:00?
Just be ready.
Whatever benefit you think you are deriving from showering, getting dressed, and applying makeup just before leaving the house, I promise you that you are the only person who notices it.
More importantly, the people you meet would undoubtedly favor less attention to your physical appearance and more attention to your timeliness.
In fact, valuing your physical appearance over arriving on time is the epitome of selfishness.
“I made you wait so my hair could look just right.”
Disgusting, yet it’s essentially what people do all the time.
So if you’re a member of the hoard of consistently late monsters, maybe give it a try. Get yourself ready to leave the hour well before you ever need to leave the house.
Then relax.
Read a book.
Take a walk.
Fold some laundry.
Eat an apple.
Watch a baseball game.
You’ll be ready to go, stress-free, and blessedly on time.
