A comment was left on my blog this week in response to a post I had written almost a decade ago about how superintendents of school districts make snow-day decisions to cancel school.
You can read it here if you’d like: https://matthewdicks.com/2017-2-11-snow-day
The comment, made by someone who identified himself as Bernie McBurner (likely a fake name because most trolls are anonymous cowards), read:
“You’re an idiot. I am more than willing to bet you have little to no friends and are probably divorced.”
Six minutes earlier, in response to a post I had written a week ago about trophy disparities between boys and girls in a Scottish soccer tournament, the same Bernie McBurner wrote:
“I bet 20$ you wrote your own wikipedia page.”
I have to approve all comments before they become public on my blog, so I approved these two comments, of course. I think they say far more about the person making the comments than they do about me.
Still, there is so much to wonder about regarding these comments, including:
How did this person end up on a nine-year-old post about snow days? I understand that many schools in the northeast canceled classes this week, but I can’t rank highly on Google for this topic.
How could posts that explain the decisions behind school cancellation and trophy injustice provoke such a hyperbolic attack?
How sad and lonely must this person be to spend time leaving comments like this on a nine-year-old blog post?
Who has the time to do these things?
And what benefit could he possibly get from these kinds of comments?
Does it make him feel good?
I suspect I am benefiting more than he is, because he gave me something fun to write about. Whenever someone attacks you like this, the best response is almost always to publicize the attack as much as possible.
Sunlight is the best answer to false and nonsensical incarceration. Let your attacker know that their words have no impact on you, which they don’t.
If they do, remember that you’re dealing with an internet troll. Their opinions are worthless.
As for his accusations:
Determining if a person is an idiot is fairly subjective. Admittedly, I’ve been an award-winning school teacher for 27 years. I’m a bestselling author who has published nine books with major publishing houses. I’ve launched a consulting and speaking business that has me working with Google, Microsoft, Yale University, the World Bank, and the FBI. I’m the most winning storyteller in Moth history. I launched and operated a successful wedding DJ business for more than 25 years.
I also do some exceptionally idiotic things, so am I the idiot that Bernie McBurber is accusing me of being?
Maybe.
But I’m definitely married for nearly 20 years with two great kids, so he was objectively wrong about being “probably divorced.”
As for having “little or no” friends, he is objectively way off in that regard. In fact, I’m exceedingly grateful for the number of friends I have, which includes a crew of friends with whom I play golf, a group of friends with whom I attend shows, a group of fiends with whom I tailgate at Patriots games, a large number of people at work who are my friends, clients who are now friends, childhood friends who remain my friends today, and many more.
A loneliness researcher actually interviewed me two years ago because she thinks I’m one of the most connected people she’s ever met.
“Little or no friends?”
Not even close.
Methinks McBurner doth protest too much.
I also didn’t write my Wikipedia page, but I have edited it.
His comment could use some editing, too. “Wikipedia” should be capitalized, and the dollar sign precedes the digit. It doesn’t follow it.
But yes, I’ve edited my own Wikipedia page. My students like to make my age an obscenely large number, and I have found inaccuracies and jokes about my last name on my page in the past, necessitating the edits.
I’m not sure who started my Wikipedia page. Probably a stranger, but it might’ve been my friend, Shep. I seem to recall talking to him about it many years ago.
I actually wouldn’t know how to start a Wikipedia page. I suppose I could figure it out.
Then again, I’m an idiot.
Either way, I really enjoy the occasional troll.
It’s always fun to watch someone dither and flail in your general direction.
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Obviously Bernie McBurner is a disciple of Trump’s school of insults.
Don’t some of the European countries use the dollar sign after the number?