The Colbert Questionert

Fans of Stephen Colbert may be aware of the Colbert Questionert: “15 questions to cover the full spectrum of human experience”

After listening to Jon Stewart answer some of them last night, I decided to answer the questions for myself. Feel free to do the same. All but two answers came to me almost immediately, so it shouldn’t take too much time if you’d like to play along.
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THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT

Best sandwich?
Hot dog
For the less enlightened who don’t consider a hot dog a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly

What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out?
My never-before-worn Jarrett Stidham jersey

What is the scariest animal?
Bees (I’m allergic)

Apples or oranges?
Apples, of course

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
Yes, Doug Flutie, Toys ‘R Us in Framingham, MA, 1986

What do you think happens when we die?
You cease to exist and people cry (and perhaps cheer depending on how awful you were)

Favorite action movie?
Die Hard

Favorite smell?
A diner at breakfast time

Least favorite smell?
Ranch salad dressing

Exercise: worth it?
Absolutely. Dumbest question on this questionert

Flat or sparkling?
Flat

Most used app on your phone?
Overcast (podcasting app)

You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
Thunder Road/Bruce Springsteen (a song with no chorus, by the way)

What number am I thinking of?
Ten trillion and two

Describe the rest of your life in 5 words?
I plan to live forever.