Archive for April 2018
Evangelicals hate. Jesus would love.
Evangelicals would disagree, but this is exactly the kind of church that Jesus would love if he were here on Earth. I’m not a religious person. I describe myself as a reluctant atheist, and that’s about right. I wish I had faith, but despite a lifetime of effort, I’ve yet to find it. But I’ve…
Read MoreGoing nowhere
The woman sitting beside me on a plane bound for Toronto fell asleep as we taxied out onto the runway. We were tenth in line to takeoff, so we were on the runway for quite a while. Just before it was our turn to takeoff, the pilot announced that the plane was experiencing problems with…
Read MoreGood news/bad news on the exoneration front
Good news: Lawrence McKinney, 61, jailed for 31 years for a crime he did not commit – rape and burglary – has been awarded one million dollars in compensation from the state of Tennessee. A decidedly different outcome from Lamont McIntyre’s fate, who I wrote about a couple weeks ago. Bad news: It wasn’t easy. And…
Read MoreSnoopy’s advice sucks
If you know me at all, you’ll know that I suffer from a persistent, constant, never-ending existential crisis. I think about death all the time. More that you could ever imagine. In an effort to alleviate my concerns and perhaps offer me a little peace, one kind reader sent me this cartoon. But there’s one…
Read MoreJust a T
Driving to dinner last night, Clara looked out the window and said, “Aw! Look at the pretty T!” My poor, confused, Jewish daughter…
Read MoreYes, they are real eggs
I found myself at dinner recently assuring someone for what felt the millionth time that the eggs cooked at McDonald’s are in fact real eggs. “They actually crack eggs?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “They crack the damn eggs.” “Really? They crack real eggs every morning?” “Yes.” The question arose because I had been explaining…
Read MoreThe best compliment wasn’t about my hair
A colleague stopped by my classroom the other day. She approached my desk and said, “I know this probably doesn’t mean anything to you. I know you don’t really care about physical appearance and things like that, but I wanted you to know that I really like your haircut.” This was an amazing compliment. One…
Read MoreTime spent in the Starbucks drive thru line is not time well spent
When asked about how I get so much done, I have a multitude of answers. Strategies. Recommended routines. The propagation of certain habits. Suggested ways of thinking. But what I should really say every time I’m asked this question is this: I value my time appropriately. I know that time is the most valuable commodity…
Read MoreRepublican interns are white.
Look no further than the current crop of White House summer interns to understand precisely what hardline Republican immigration policies are all about. You need to aggressively disregard people of color to end up with the group of almost entirely white people. Lest you think this is an aberration, here is a photo of last…
Read MoreBest and worst April Fools Day ever
It’s a day late, but I thought I’d chronicle the two greatest April Fool’s Day pranks ever played on me. On Sunday, April 1, 1990, I awoke before the crack of dawn. Despite staying up until the wee hours of the morning, enjoying another one of our keg parties, I needed to be at McDonald’s…
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