A rule I live by:
If someone is breaking a rule, and the breaking of that rule hurts no one, always leave the rule breaker alone. Leave them be. Don’t rat them out. Don’t wish them ill will of any kind.
This seems like a fairly obvious rule to follow, but when the rule breaker is enjoying a privilege that you are not or avoiding a responsibility that you still have, it seems to become exponentially more difficult for people to adhere to this basic tenet of decency.
Jealousy and a misguided need for fairness seems to permeate these situations, creating anger, jealousy, and sometimes even disclosure.
For example, if your coworker parks his car in the conveniently located garage normally reserved for executives and is getting away with it while you continue to park in the assigned parking lot half a mile away from the building, you should be happy for your colleague. Excited, even. He’s beating the system. Pulling the wool over the eyes of the executives.
He’s taking a calculated risk and may get caught someday, but you should play no role that disclosure.
His rule breaking is hurting no one.
Reporting his violation would place you in the same category of single celled organisms:
Very small and very stupid.
Another example:
If your job requires you to submit a complex, time consuming progress report every Friday, but your colleague doesn’t submit the report and her failure to comply goes unnoticed, be happy for your colleague. Excited about her daring and successful attempt to beat the system.
Yes, it’s true. Your colleague is avoiding work that you must still complete, but she has not changed your life in any way. Your workload has not increased. Your boss’s perception of you remains the same. You should not be annoyed. Her attempt to circumvent an assignment has no bearing on your life or your future.
Unless of course you’re a fairness monger. A rule following referee. A person so disappointed with your own life that you can’t take pleasure in the good fortune of others.
This is really no different than real life. My friend, for example, lives next door to his retired parents. He has never paid for a babysitter and never bought a diaper. His parents restock his diaper supply whenever needed. His mother has even been known to do the laundry while watching the kids.
My mother is dead. I’ve seen my father four or five times in the last ten years and barely know him. My in-laws live two hours away and still work full time.
I have spent thousands of dollars on babysitters over the years, and I paid for every single diaper that my children wore.
Am I angry about my friend’s good fortune? Jealous?
Of course not. I’m happy for him. Just like I’m happy when one of my colleagues when they manage to avoid a needless, fruitless responsibility or break an arcane, bureaucratic rule while harming no one, even if I am still saddled with that responsibility or rule.
