Last month, I wrote about my philosophy of rule breaking:
If someone is breaking a rule, and the breaking of that rule hurts no one, always leave the rule breaker alone. Leave them be. Don’t rat them out. Don’t wish them ill will of any kind.
I was then asked by readers to list other rules that I routinely break. Here is that list.
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1. I never worry about dating a document correctly because no one cares if the document is dated correctly unless they tell you to date it correctly.
2. I make right turns on red even when the coast is clear even when there is a sign indicating that it’s illegal because waiting for no conceivable reason is insanity.
3. I ignore dress codes whenever possible because the only people who really care if you are conforming to the dress code are the worst possible people. Also, everyone is way too busy thinking that everyone is looking at them. Also, you have a right to feel good about the way you look.
4. When I am using a single user restroom and someone tests the knob, finds it locked, and then knocks, I refuse to answer because this behavior is lunacy. Isn’t a locked door signal enough that you’re not coming in?
5. When asked for my position on a document at work, I list “Upright” every time.
6. I pee in the woods while playing golf, which doesn’t sound like a big deal, but is technically illegal according to both law enforcement and the golf club.
7. I exceed the speed limit with my car, though almost never to any excess.
8. When parking my car at a gas station or rest area with the sole intent of going inside to use a restroom or make a purchase, I park in front of a gas pump as if I’m also purchasing gas if no closer space is available.
9. I eat the food in the grocery store that I plan on buying (usually candy bars, soda, Pop Tarts, and fruit) and then scan the bar codes on the empty wrappers at the checkout. This is occasionally a problem with food that is paid for by the pound.
10. I refill cups of soda at McDonald’s even though it isn’t during the same visit.
11. I treat red lights as stop signs after 1:00 AM.
12. I ignore all deadlines unless there is an actual consequence attached to the deadline. A deadline without a consequence is simply a line.
13. If I lose a ball off the tee while playing golf, I do not return to the tee and hit again. I drop the ball where I think the ball landed, take a one stroke penalty, and play on. I do this to improve speed of play and not to improve my score.
14. I drive while wearing wireless headphones.
15. I look at the GPS application on my phone while driving.
16. I jaywalk.
17. I use single user restrooms designated for women if the men’s room is occupied and no woman is waiting.
