Archive for October 2016
Best insult ever
In my 18 years of teaching, I have been insulted by students in countless times in countless ways. Playful banter, of course, never meant to hurt and often in response to my own purposefully amusing hubris and declarations of supremacy, Basically, I walk around, telling the kids how great and powerful I am and allow them…
Read MorePracticing your speech in front of a mirror makes no sense
In the past four years, in addition to working with the hundreds of storytellers who have performed in our Speak Up shows, I’ve also been working on a fairly regular basis as a coach for other types of public speakers. I’ve assisted people with TED Talks. Helped corporate types prepare presentations. Advised professional storytellers and…
Read MoreConfessions of a Patriots Season Ticket Holder: Seasons Fall 2016
My latest humor column in the fall edition of Seasons magazine published this weekend. You can read it online here if you’re not lucky enough to receive home delivery. Scroll to the back page of the magazine. Very apropos subject as Tom Brady returns to the field today to take on the Cleveland Browns. For…
Read MoreNever in my life
I have been in many locker rooms and on many golf courses over the course of my life. I have worked in fast food restaurants and diners and on construction sites. I have attended hundreds of college parties. I have been poor and homeless and lived on the streets. I have never heard a man…
Read MoreMemoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art
There is nothing more humbling and thrilling than receiving fan art from a reader. I’ve received quite a bit over the years and seen even more on social media and the Internet. Since Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend has been nominated for a Nutmeg Award, the amount of fan art related to this book has…
Read MoreGet off my lawn!
A local lawn company sent a solicitor to my door last week. He and I had the following exchange: TruGreen man: Hello, I was treating your neighbors lawn today and was wondering if you might be interested in our lawn care service. Me: No, thank you. We’re all set. TruGreen man: Are you sure? Me: Yes. TruGreen man: Can I…
Read MoreI run through grocery stores often enough that strangers have begun to notice. This does not make me crazy, even though some might believe otherwise.
I was in the bread aisle of the local Stop & Shop last week when a woman stopped me and asked, “Why are you always running through this grocery store?” “Excuse me?” I said. “I always see you running through this store like you’re on fire.” It’s true. When I shop, I move fast, I…
Read MoreYou see a leaf. I see something so much worse.
Want to know how I think? How I exist? I was standing on the Old Drake Hill Flower Bridge in Simsbury, CT with my wife and children. It was a spectacular fall day. Blue skies. Warm temperatures. Laughing children. I look over the bridge and spot this leaf, floating down the river. Here is what…
Read MoreDisillusioned by the Presidential election this year? Vote for Clara.
Clara just hung this on the pantry door and announced that she’s running for President of the Upstairs. “Upstairs needs some rules,” she says. Her platform: Make your bed. (which she does not do) Put away your books. (which she does not do) Cuddle your stuffed animals Give kisses and hugs at bedtime She’s currently…
Read MoreIt’s true. I hate strangers because of what they love most.
I’m a reluctant atheist (I wish I had faith in a higher power but haven’t managed to find it yet), but I can certainly get behind the belief that hate is never a good thing and should be avoided whenever possible. I also agree with this church sign when it comes to football season. Football…
Read More