Archive for February 2014
Food allergy skeptics suck.
A Boston Globe piece entitled Skeptics add to food allergy burden for parents describes the challenges that parents of food allergic children face when closed-minded morons accuse a parent of being overprotective rather than vigilante when it comes to the health and safety of their kids. The number of children with reported food allergies continues…
Read MoreDumb people help make dreams come true
A survey, conducted by the National Science Foundation, found that 1 in 4 Americans believe that the sun revolves around the Earth. Also, less than half of Americans know that humans evolved from other species of animals. These numbers are shocking. They may be an indication of the failure of science instruction in America (though…
Read More“Nonplussed” is going down.
It’s such a stupid word. It’s definition is “not surprised,” but we all know that it’s supposed to mean the opposite. So stupid. In protest of this stupid word, I will be taking the following actions: I will use the word “nonplussed” in place of the word “surprised” whenever possible. I will invent moments of…
Read MoreThe best words ever spoken to me. Ever.
She crawled into my lap, kissed me on the cheek and said, “I love you. And I love to hug you. And I love to play with you. And sometimes I love to watch football with you.”
Read MoreThe shouting is amusing, but it’s the makeup that bothers the hell out of me
This video is terrible. I realize it’s only curling, but it’s an Olympic sport. These are Olympic athletes. And some of them are wearing more eye and face makeup than an actress on the red carpet. It’s ridiculous. It’s a terrible message to send you little girls everywhere. It’s a terrible image for female…
Read MoreFourth greatest compliment ever
I have a list of the three greatest compliments I have ever received. The first was a ridiculous, albeit appreciated, comment about my physical appearance (though the person complimenting me may have been blind). The second pertained to my video game prowess. The third was a comment that my wife once made to my doctor.…
Read MoreI’m not careless. I’m just stupid and preoccupied.
My wife opened the refrigerator yesterday morning and found this: See the problem? She texted me the photo and asked, “Is this the result of your advancing age?” Sadly, she knows that this has nothing to do with my age. She lives with a man who does not notice details and specifics and makes blunders…
Read MoreAm I really so annoying?
Three things happened to me yesterday: A friend told me that something I said to her was the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to her. Another friend spitefully followed my advice in order to prove me wrong, and the advice turned out to be right. Things turned out legitimately great for her. And…
Read MoreThe most amazing door you will ever see
And yet the remarkable functionality of the door is underscored by the designer’s apparent inability to find a floor that doesn’t sound like it’s about to collapse beneath him. The door is astounding. The choice of flooring is even more so.
Read MoreMy daughter’s fifth birthday party was violent, competitive and AWESOME
My daughter recently celebrated her fifth birthday at My Gym, a local gym designed for little kids. My daughter attended classes there when she was an infant and toddler, and my son attends classes there now. The theme was a pajama party. I had nothing to do with the planning or execution of the party.…
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