99 more reasons that I love Elysha Dicks

Today is our eighth wedding anniversary.

Last year I listed 99 reasons that I love my wife.

Today, I listed 99 new ones.
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1. She was not aware of the most recent royal birth until someone told her hours after it had happened

2. She does not play stupid iPhone or Facebook games

3. She asked me when Hard Knocks is starting again

4. She can navigate any mall flawlessly but almost nothing else

5. The complete lack of jealousy in her heart

6. The way she runs her hands through the back of my hair while I’m driving

7. She taught me the difference between knitting and sewing

8. She still gets angry when I confuse knitting and sewing

9. She threw away all my A-neck tee shirts when we began dating

10. She does not gossip

11. She has never whined about needing coffee or needing Starbucks

12. She has never raised her voice to me or our children

13. The way she drapes her legs across me as she sleeps

14. Her macaroni-and-cheese and sloppy Joe combo

15. The way she looks in shorts

16. Her brilliant, understated, hilarious hosting of Speak Up

17. The way she’s consistently funny but doesn’t know it

18. Her brutal but effective editing of my stories for the stage

19. She knows how to fold a fitted sheet

20. Her unfounded faith in a good manicure

21. Her ability to garner hundreds of responses on Facebook to the most basic and benign question

22. The mobiles that she made for our children hang above our children’s beds and will likely hand over our grandchildren’s beds someday

23. She doesn’t read People, US, or any of those other gossipy, trivial Hollywood magazines

24. Her ability to find a consignment shop bargain

25. Her unwavering forgiveness of others who don’t deserve it

26. Her appreciation for my willingness to say yes to almost anything

27. She made her own handbag but never brags about it

28. Her ability to sell out all of our Speak Up storytelling events through word-of-mouth alone

29. The number of times my friends have envied my choice of wife

30. Her enrapturing read-aloud voice

31. Her unrelenting attempts to get me to try new foods

32. Convincing me to give Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me a try

33. The palpable, almost visible pride that she expresses in me

34. Her heated defense of me when I am unjustifiably maligned

35. Holding her hand while walking the streets of NYC

36. Our in-depth post-Moth StorySLAM analyses of each story

37. Her ongoing, daily, unwavering sacrifices for our children

38. Her unwarranted fear of the lawn mower

39. The way that she somehow, someway, cuts our children’s fingernails (something I could never do)

40. Our ability to communicate nonverbally at almost freakish levels

41. Her adoration for her nieces and nephews

42. Her ability to get to know my large, extended family better than me

43. How she meaningfully connects with people via Facebook without immersing herself in Facebook and making Facebook haters sound stupid in their inability to understand the effective use of Facebook.

44. Her choice of our daughter’s name

45. The way she looks when her hair is pulled back away from her face

46. The way she can make an old pair of sweatpants and one of my tee shirts look incredible

47. The kisses that she presses from her hand to the shower door for me and our children while she is showering

48. Her appreciation for This American Life, Radio Lab, and other somewhat nerdy audio content

49. Our near-uniform taste in television

50. Her legs

51. The wrinkle between her eyes that forms when she is confused

52. The way she taps her lips with four fingers when pondering the way to word something

53. How she is able almost instantly to connect with young people in truly meaningful ways

54. The unadulterated joy that she experiences while holding a baby

55. Her complete lack of helicopter parenting

56. How she is so much like her parents and so different than her parents simultaneously

57. Her remarkable courage to be herself

58. The infinitesimal amounts of makeup that she wears

59. The way that she has passed her love and knowledge of show tunes onto our daughter

60. The pride that I feel in knowing that I am always the man with the most beautiful woman in the room and truly believing it

61. Her unwavering demand that we get up, get out, and do something in the world when so often our daughter and I would prefer to remain at home, eating cereal and living like animals

62. The way she looks in a straw hat

63. Her embracing of my macaroni-and-cheese and hot dog combination

64. The music that fills our home thanks to her

65. Her often untapped, rarely seen ability to write exceptionally well

66. Our uniform understanding that a hot dog is best without any condiments

67. The way I lie in bed every night, still in disbelief that I got to marry this woman

68. Her apparent inability to age

69. Talking to her about our perfect wedding

70. Her desire to want to know everything that happened to me during my most recent round of golf

71. “The best part of your day” tradition that she started at dinner each night

72. The love for art and creation that she has passed onto both of our children

73. The way that she has taught our daughter to identify and appreciate flowers

74. Her love for pets makes her miserable at times

75. Her unwavering belief that everything will be okay and her ability to occasionally transfer that belief to me

76. Overhearing her speak about the pride she has in my accomplishments

77. The way every wedding makes me yearn to be dancing with her

78. The smile that consumes her face when she speaks about her alma mater.

79. The Christmas traditions that she has embraced and shared with our children

80. The indescribable joy that I feel when she laughs at a line from a story that I have written or am telling

81. She can name more than half of the Supreme Court justices

82. The way she looks with her bare feet on the dashboard during long car rides

83. The way that any guest coming over for a meal is an opportunity to scan at least five cookbooks for the perfect recipe

84. The way that she puts our daughter’s hair in pigtails

85. Her ability to plan for almost every in-car contingency in order to keep our children quiet and happy

86. Her ability to operate, manipulate, and repair computer technology without ever asking for assistance from me

87. How we divide and conquer when it comes to so many of our household responsibilities

88. Her willingness to allow me to continue living even after I wash an item of clothing on an incorrect setting

89. Her remarkably calm, quick thinking in an emergency

90. The way that she makes each day that she has at home with our children meaningful and special

91. The way she looks in a bathing suit and a pair of sunglasses

92. The way that ordering a drink and ice cream are almost identically complicated processes for her

93. Her calm, measured, reasonable approach to handling our daughter’s peanut allergy

94. The way she sends me photographs of our children at precisely the moment that I am missing them most

95. The way that none of my performances are nearly as rewarding when she is not in the audience

96. Her unwillingness to over-complicate things and her desire for simplicity whenever possible

97. Her willingness to listen and seriously consider my crazy ideas before dismissing them

98. The way I get to simply be me, in a way I have never been me before, now that I am with her.

99. Our wedding vows, both hers and mine, which I read often.