Archive for August 2013
Creating a list of things that you should never do after 50 is asinine. So are most of the items on this list.
I read a blog post today by author Jacquelyn Mitchard entitled 22 Things You Should Never Do Again After 50. I hate it so much. It is the anti-Dylan Thomas post. It is an example of embracing the dying of the light. Ironically, Mitchard lists 21 things to quit after the age of 50 and…
Read MoreWigs for bald, baby girls are a thing now. Stupid parents have been around forever.
There are wigs for babies now. Designed for parents (mothers) who are tired of listening to strangers refer to their bald, baby girls with masculine pronouns, Baby Bangs seeks to make baby girls look more like baby girls. … the website reads, undoubtedly capturing the frustration and outrage of bald baby girls everywhere. Even as…
Read MoreNot surprising, my wife was right again.
I’m a dummy. A big, dumb, dummy dumb-dumb. There was a time, not so long ago, when I told my wife that one child was enough. I argued that our daughter, Clara, was all we needed in terms of children, and we should seriously consider having no more. I believed that with one child, we…
Read MoreHate the parents
Hopefully, this is one of the most disgustingly gratuitous bar mitzvah entrances of all time. Right? Please tell me that it doesn’t get much worse than this. I can’t even begin to imagine what worse than this would look like. I have a theory on the golf course that if play is slow, you should…
Read MoreOur kids don’t see us watch television. It wasn’t planned, but I’m still taking credit for it.
Sometimes parents read the research on a subject and make informed parenting decisions. Other times they unintentionally, accidentally make a great parenting decision and, if they are like me, take credit for it anyway. When it comes to television, my wife and I were well aware of the research indicating that television viewing should be…
Read MoreBaseball pitchers are cowards. All of them.
Last night Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster threw four consecutive pitches at Alex Rodriguez. The first nearly hit him in the legs. The next two were tight inside. The fourth finally hit him in the elbow and ribs. Your browser does not support iframes. These pitches were intentional. No one debates this. Obviously Dempster is…
Read MoreThis Stephen Colbert segment is perfect. Stop everything and watch it now.
This satirical, snarky, occasionally condescending segment from The Colbert Show has given me heartfelt, legitimate hope for the country. It has caused me to question some of my assumptions about people and reminded me to keep an open mind at all times. It’s inspiring. And funny as hell. It’s one of the best seven minutes…
Read MoreCan’t find the time to write?
When people tell me they don’t have enough time to write, I tell them to throw a trashcan through the window of a bank or airport. – Dan Kennedy, author of Rock On: An Office Power Ballad (which I recommend in audio form), American Spirit, which is sitting on my shelf, and Loser Goes First,…
Read MoreJust so cute
Cardboard cutout cruelty
From the TIME piece entitled Fake Transit Cop Spooks Bike Thieves Unable to pay more officers to patrol its transit stops, the Boston area’s debt-laden transit authority has resorted instead to cardboard replicas of police officers to help deter crime. Since it installed two, life-sized cutouts of 10-year veteran Officer David Silen earlier this summer,…
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