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Feminine hygiene products meet SOMETHING MISSING

Ever think that your feminine hygiene product could use a little more pizazz? Kotex did, and that’s why they are sponsoring a design contest that allows you to “Make your Mark on the Future of Feminine Protection.” I opted to design a pad, though I could have restyled “a period stash” or created an “inspiration…

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Plastic beats paper

Last week, this section of my local grocery store displayed the bestselling fiction and nonfiction of the week.  It has been replaced by a display of gift cards for places like Chili’s and eBay and Red Lobster. Perhaps there is something to this 2012 end-of-the-world stuff after all. 

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Tough beyond measure

My sister is hardcore. My sister was hit by a car in 2005 while trying to run across the highway at night. Thrown fifty feet through the air, the only thing that saved her life was the patch of grass that she landed on. Dozens of broken bones, months in the hospital, and more months…

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Wouldn’t you rather watch me clip my toenails?

MSNBC will run twenty hours of royal wedding coverage on the day that what’s-his-name and what’s-her-name get married. My initial reaction was disgust at a news agency for turning itself into the royal wedding channel for a day, appealing to one of the basest groups of people in American society: People who find another nation’s…

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Killer tornados not OK

I’ve never liked the abbreviation for Oklahoma. Abbreviations should never spell words that could later be misconstrued as the actual word. Case in point: Today’s headline from the Daily Beast Twitter feed: 2 Killed in OK tornadoes … At least 4 twisters hit southeastern region of state. Yes, it only took me less than a second to…

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I do not understand teenagers who fail to rebel

My wife tells me that a former student, now in college, is engaged to get married. I raise my eyebrows, surprised at the early age in which she has decided to tie the knot. My wife explains that her former student is from a very devout family and takes religion quite seriously, and these people tend…

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In defense of revision

Two of my favorite television shows of all time, and two of my wife’s favorite television shows of all time, are remakes: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (a remake of a film) and Battlestar Galactica (the remake of a poorly-executed television show). Perhaps television in general would be better if we gave its writers more opportunities…

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Defending my biography

During a recent book event in Vermont, two different people assigned to introduce me jocularly questioned the various biography pages that I have scattered throughout the Internet. Specifically, a few things came into question, so I thought I’d clear them up here and now. First, my official bio was written by a friend (and theoretical…

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