Archive for January 2011
The best kind of consolation
My DJ business, the occasional book appearance, and yes, the Patriots home games will sometimes keep me away from home at bedtime, and oftentimes for much of the day. Knowing I miss my girls, my wife sends me goodnight videos, including this one, recorded after last week’s otherwise unspeakable Patriots loss. If I could get…
Read MoreSnow day
There’s about three or four feet of snow on our front lawn, and with it have come a bunch of snow days. I have many colleagues who loathe the snow day, hoping for a longer summer respite when the weather is better and our classrooms heat up, but I have always lived my life with…
Read MoreNot sure how to feel about this.
I felt utterly torn when I first watched this banned Super Bowl commercial that pits Jesus against President Obama. My initial reaction: I’m glad they banned this commercial from the Super Bowl. Ultra-conservative craziness has no place at a football game. Especially the biggest football game of the year. But then I thought: Actually, isn’t…
Read MoreThere is a big difference between girl-on-girl and elephant-on-girl
Today I Googled “What percentage of women are killed by women each year”? The fifth item on Google’s list was: How many women are killed by elephants each year? No, Google. Not even close. By the way, the answer to the elephant question was less than 20.
Read MoreWorst attempt to legitimize an already bizarre business model
See these smiles? Look how happy this guy is! Want to guess what he does for a living? He is a member of the brave men and women of Pet Butler, a Boca Raton company that will send “technicians” to your home to remove animal feces from your property so that you will never have…
Read MoreThe mindless hum of mindless agreement
On a recent episode of Oprah (forcefully viewed from a waiting room), I heard Gavin de Becker, author of THE GIFT OF FEAR, say: “Men fear that women will laugh at them. Women fear that men will kill them.” The predominantly female audience nodded in approval, humming their lilting agreement, suddenly beset by this brilliant…
Read MoreDo she not speak good on purpose?
I liked this paragraph from a piece in The Economist a lot: It’s not exactly a surprise that Mrs Palin uses the English language the way most people do: confusingly. This is part of her demotic charm. At critical moments, she has an uncanny, or perhaps very canny, ability to say precisely the wrong thing,…
Read MoreNot booing. Just cheering.
Why do sports fans almost exclusively call out players names in unison only when the name can be made to sound more like a boo then a cheer? I can’t tell you how many times I have had to explain to an inexperienced sports fan that the crowd is not booing but simply calling the…
Read MoreHe needs more room in the crotch
Lyndon Johnson orders pants. If only we had more recordings like this. You must listen. You know… I just had a thought. Slate recently posted a piece about how many assassins have three names. I actually sent the piece to a buddy who has a hyphenated last name, just to let him know that I…
Read MoreSocial stupidity cannot be covered up by the violin
Amy Chua’s new book describes what she calls “Chinese parenting.” Her methods include: No sleepovers No play dates No television, video games or arts and crafts Hours of closely monitored instrumental music practice Threats to burn stuffed animals if a piece of music isn’t played perfectly Required revisions of homemade birthday cards Hours of academic…
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