Archive for 2010
Facebook Fail
A former colleague passed away this week. We worked together for about six years, and while we never became close friends, he was the first teacher to greet me as I nervously made my way into the school on a humid August afternoon in 1999 to begin setting up my classroom. He walked me around…
Read MoreA couple of winners
My wife and I received our state pension statements today. For the first time in more than six years, one of us (Elysha) decided to actually examine the information. In the event of Elysha’s death, her benefits are currently slated to go to her former fiancée. In the event of my death, my pension will…
Read MoreBest worst insult
One of my good friends recently insulted someone using what I believe is the worst (meaning best) insult of all time: “He sucks at life.” It really says it all. Right?
Read MoreBeauty squared
It’s fuzzy, and the coloring isn’t great in the top right-hand corner, and it’s not perfectly framed, but this is currently my favorite photo of my daughter. And as an added bonus, my wife appears in it as well. In fact, she’s the one who took the picture.
Read MoreShould I be a little nicer in 2011?
I’ve started working on my New Year’s resolutions for the coming year. Some of them will simply be repeats of the previous year. Any goal that I did not achieve in 2010 that I still want to complete will be added to the list. Sadly, there will be quite a few. But there will be…
Read MoreMy treatise on tipping
A reader recently asked me to comment on the process of tipping, hoping that I might be able to provide some insight on the subject. She must have noticed that I am rarely bereft of an opinion on any matter. My basic philosophy on tipping is to always round up and always be willing to…
Read MoreMy kingdom for an orange
Did you know that human beings and guinea pigs are the only mammals on the planet that cannot synthesize vitamin C? Every other mammal on Earth can produce vitamin C on their own. We need oranges or we die. This strikes me as rather ironic considering that human begins are also the only mammals on…
Read MoreThe deception of The Nutcracker
You know what’s the problem with The Nutcracker? It’s still a ballet. While it’s true that my wife adores The Nutcracker and did so as a child, most children are surprised to realize upon seeing The Nutcracker for the first time that it amounts to little more than a boring dance recital. You can almost…
Read MoreMore classless New York Jets behavior
Look. Another New York Jet jackass. This unidentified New York Jets staffer tripped Miami Dolphins player Nolan Carroll as he was running out of bounds during a kickoff in today’s game. Video footage of the incident can be seen here, though the NFL may have the clip taken down soon: This is coming from the…
Read MoreWait Wait Don’t Tell Me: Near perfection, but not quite
For years, I argued that I had brought more joy to my wife’s world than she had brought to mine. I have introduced Elysha to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Battlestar Galactica, two of her favorite television shows of all time. I tantalized her palette with the sublimity of macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.…
Read More