Archive for July 2010
Nuking the Earth over and over again
I’m not sure if I feel less worried about nuclear war, considering the mind-numbing number of nuclear devices that have been detonated over the past fifty years, or more frightened at the relentless effort that was made to ensure that these weapons could kill as many people as possible.
Read MoreAnimated Jewish philosopher
A reader recently asked me why I was using a South Park character as my profile photo on Goodreads and on several other social networks. I had to explain that this was not just any South Park character. It was me. A few years ago, Elysha took the time to “South Park” us. She did…
Read MoreHow am I ever going to explain Ghostbusters to her?
There are certain things that I will never be able to fully explain to my daughter. Here’s one: The theme song to the film Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr. went to #1 on the Billboard singles chart and stayed there for three weeks. This is not a song like Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go…
Read MoreA friend who understands me completely.
A friend read my post regarding “Yo Momma” jokes and the death of my mother. He said, “You know, if I didn’t know you better, I’d think that you were having trouble dealing with your mom’s death, and your comments are just a way of masking your pain.” “But you know that’s not the case,” I…
Read MoreWeiner envy
Bestselling author Jennifer Weiner’s iPhone app was released today. It looks excellent. But I am annoyed. I created an iPhone app about six months ago that brings all my content into one convenient location on the phone. Blog posts, Twitter feed, unpublished chapters, book club material, and more. But I had to design and build…
Read MoreWhen your mom dies…
On a happier note… You’ve got a pretty good comeback to anyone trying to use a “your momma” joke on you (which I tell my students to never, ever use). Insult: Your momma’s so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball. Retort: Actually, my mom is dead. I’ve…
Read MoreUnanswered questions that will never be answered
When your mother dies, you no longer wish for the courage to confront her about incidents in the past that you’ve never understood or harbored anger over for years and years. These never-dare-uttered indictments become moot: You never went to a single one of my baseball games. I worked 50 hours a week as a…
Read MoreStuff your sorrys in a sack
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. – P. G. Wodehouse (1881 – 1975) It’s a great quote. Don’t you think? After all, how many times have you asked for or demanded an…
Read MoreQuestionable restroom language
For those of you who don’t pay attention to details, you may have missed the messages that frequently inundate us while using a public restroom. Recently I noticed that Sanor System, a Rochester Midland product, flaunts the slogan Clean Restrooms Happy People on the urinals and toilets that it helps to keep clean. This seems…
Read MoreThe majesty of the combine harvester. Oh, and a legitimately bionic cat, too.
This is one of my daughter’s favorite books. MY FIRST FARM BOARD BOOK And it’s great. It has terrific photographs of cows and pigs and horses and even a big red tractor. Just the kinds of farm paraphernalia that I would want introduced to my seventeen-month old. And then I came upon this page:…
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