It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
– P. G. Wodehouse (1881 – 1975)
It’s a great quote. Don’t you think? After all, how many times have you asked for or demanded an apology? Or even wanted an apology?
Hopefully the answer is close to none.
Asking for an apology is akin to fishing for a compliment. It guarantees that whatever you receive will be forced and insincere and will only serve to demonstrate the naive significance that you place upon the words of others.
If you have received an unrequested apology that expresses regret for a misstatement or unintentional cruelty, that’s fine. Probably not necessary in most cases, but acceptable just the same.
But telling someone that you demand an apology?
After I’m done laughing at these types of demands, I can’t help but wonder how this kind of obligatory apology would ever make a reasonably sane and self-confident person feel better.
Frankly, it shouldn’t. And I would venture to say that it never does. A person may derive a certain degree of personal satisfaction in forcing another person to say something that they don’t mean, but that’s a petty and ultimately meaningless form of satisfaction normally reserved for petty and relatively meaningless people.
As for wanting an apology?
Even six-year-old children know that words cannot be taken back, and that the first thing out of someone’s mouth is usually the most honest thing he or she will say.
On the rare occasion that someone slips up and says something that they do not mean or is misconstrued in some way, an apology is almost always forthcoming.
There is rarely a need to request one.
Forget apologies. If you’re upset, get revenge instead.
That’s my version of the P.G. Wodehouse quote.
