Someone recently asked me, “Do you really love your students? All of them?”
So I went on a bit of a rant in answer to her question. When I was finished, I made a quick list of things I had said, which has since become this list:
12 Truths About Teaching
I suspect they apply to many, if not most, teachers.
Especially those who spend seven hours a day with the same children for an entire year.
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1. I love your child, just a notch below my own children. Truly. And oddly, that love kicks in almost immediately, just like it did with my kids.
2. I will miss your child for the rest of my life, even if your child was incredibly difficult and made my days long and exhausting at times.
3. My primary goal as a teacher is to make my students happy about coming to school. Everything flows from a child’s love for school and their passion for learning.
4. You are so very wrong if you view our relationship as adversarial in any way.
5. I ask you to call me by my first name because I want to have the kind of relationship with you that requires first names. There is no need for artificial barriers between us. We are two adults who both love your child. Why would we not be on a first-name basis?
6. Some of my closest friends (and my child’s godparents) are former students’ parents. These relationships developed because we treated each other as partners in their child’s education. If you and I are doing our jobs well, we should be friendly, if not actual friends, by the end of the school year.
7. There is nothing wrong with questioning my decision. I only ask that you don’t question my intent. Know that I am always trying to do my best on behalf of your child and that despite my best intentions, mistakes will probably be made.
8. If I have done something that disappoints or upsets you, always come to me first. You can’t imagine how much it hurts a teacher to hear about your disappointment secondhand, either from an administrator or via the parent, teacher, or student rumor mill.
9. One of the most important lessons I have learned in my 24 years of teaching is the importance of following through. Always do what you say you will do, and never make a threat or promise that you cannot keep. This has given me a hard-earned reputation with students and allowed me to be as successful as I have been. It’s a lesson I have brought into parenting that has served me (and my children) well. It’s the one piece of parenting advice that I pass on to you.
10. Please know that both legally and ethically, there are times when I want to say something to you but cannot for many reasons, usually related to another student’s privacy. It’s frustrating for me, and I’m sure it is for you, but it’s also my professional responsibility.
11. A lower-than-desired grade on an assignment or report card is only my honest assessment of your child’s performance at that moment. It’s not an indictment of your parenting or an indication of your child’s potential. It’s probably just an indicator that there is still room for improvement.
12. I will wonder (and worry) about your child’s future for the rest of my life.
