Family

Clara, age 10, is spending the first hour of her morning – beginning around 6:00 AM – researching the celestial bodies that were named after Hawaiian Gods after finding a dwarf planet named Makemake in a book on astronomy and strongly suspecting that the name has Hawaiian origins. Clara’s been into Hawaiian history – particularly…

Six days after we nearly lost him, Pluto is finally home. His brother, Tobi, apparently doesn’t recognize him because all he does is hiss at him constantly. A combination of the shaved backside, the cone, the absent penis, and the myriad of new smells have the poor guy confused, but hopefully he’ll come around soon.…

I’m running on the treadmill on Saturday morning when the phone rings. It’s Elysha. “Matt, come home now. It’s Pluto.” Pluto, our almost three year-old cat, had been acting strange for quite a while. For almost a month, he had been peeing in the bathtub and alongside the bathroom sink. But our vet had determined…

It took 6 years and 362 days to finally convince the boy to try a hamburger, but the lure of a Happy Meal toy and a love for French fries forced him to commit to at least one bite. His response: “Sweet.” A whole new world has opened up for my son. Just wait until…

It’s Mother’s Day. Elysha, the kids, and I are eating an excellent brunch at Big Daddy’s, a diner on the upper west side. We’re in the city to visit Elysha’s parents and her grandmother, who is a few blocks north at Mount Sinai, recovering from a recently broken hip. Elysha hands Charlie a dollar bill…

Is there anything better than a six year-old boy falling asleep while reading his book?

Clara, age 10, is sitting in the backseat of my car, reading a book. She says, “Dad, this book has it all wrong!” “What are you talking about?” I ask. “The girl in this book started playing football on the boy’s team in 1974 because of Title 9.” “You know what Title 9 is?” I…